INTRO C C7 F9 G74 G7 x2 VERSE 1 C C7 Sid Vicious played a four-string Fender bass guitar and couldn?t sing F9 G74 G7 And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him C C7 A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele F9 G74 G7 He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen VERSE 2 C C7 If only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy F9 G74 G7 Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end C C7 He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead F9 G74 G7 He maybe would?ve sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend CHORUS C C7 So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong F9 G74 G7 Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn?t mean you?re failing C C7 Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark F9 G74 G7 And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele BRIDGE F9 G7 Ukulele small and forceful, ukulele, brave and peaceful C F9 You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple F9 G7 Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly Bb6 Ukulele banish evil, ukulele save the people, Ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple VERSE 3 C C7 Lizzie borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks F9 G74 G7 Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle C C7 If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans F9 G74 G7 Had lost the plot completely, see what happens when you muzzle VERSE 4 C C7 A person?s creativity and do not let them sing and scream F9 G74 G7 And nowadays it?s worse ?cause kids have automatic handguns C C7 It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele F9 G74 G7 About same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb you do the math(s) CHORUS BRIDGE F9 G7 Ukulele, thing of wonder, ukulele, wand of thunder C F9 You can play the ukulele too in London and down under F9 G7 Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and Neutral Milk Ho- Bb6 Tell the children crush the hatred, play your ukulele naked If anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it VERSE 5 C C7 Imagine there?s no music, imagine there are no songs F9 G74 G7 Imagine that John Lennon wasn?t shot in front of his apartment C C7 F9 Now imagine if John Lennon had composed ?Imagine? for the ukulele G74 G7 Maybe people would have truly got the message VERSE 6 C C7 You may think my approach is simple-minded and na?ve F9 G74 G7 Like if you want to change the world then why not quit and feed the hungry C C7 But people for millennia have needed music to survive F9 G74 G7 And that?s why I?ve promised John that I will not feel guilty VERSE 7 C C7 So play your favorite Beatles song and make the subway fall in love F9 G74 G7 They?re only $19.95, that isn?t lots of money C C7 Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer F9 G74 G7 Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele VERSE 8 C C7 Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard F9 G74 G7 Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily C C7 You?ll minimize some stranger?s sadness with a piece of wood and plastic F9 G74 G7 Holy fuck it?s so fantastic, playing ukulele VERSE 9 C C7 Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark F9 And bring your etch-a-sketch to work, your flask of jack, your vibrator your fear of heights, your nikon lens VERSE 10 C C7 Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from ?Karate Kid? F9 G74 G7 Your ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD C C7 Your favorite room , your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye F9 G74 G7 Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your Nick Drake tapes, your giving tree C C7 Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry F9 C Remember we?re all going to die so play your ukulele
