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Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
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On the first day of first grade, I'll tell you what he did 
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He tripped over a pencil box, flew up in the air 
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Landed on a kangaroo who pulled out all his hair 

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First aid in the first grade 
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First aid in the first grade 
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First aid in the first grade 
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You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the second day of second grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He slipped on a banana peel, flew up in the sky 
Landed on a chimpanzee who poked him in the eye 

First aid in the second grade 
First aid in the second grade 
First aid in the second grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the third day of third grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He fell out of a fishing boat, splashed into the sea 
Landed on a moray eel who bit him on the knee 

First aid in the third grade 
First aid in the third grade 
First aid in the third grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the fourth day of fourth grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He went out on a tadpole hunt, slipped into the creek 
Landed on a large-mouth bass who bit him on the cheek 

First aid in the fourth grade 
First aid in the fourth grade 
First aid in the fourth grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the fifth day of fifth grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He went into the garden shop looking for a rose 
Sniffed a baby's breath and got a bee caught up his nose 

First aid in the fifth grade 
First aid in the fifth grade 
First aid in the fifth grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the sixth day of sixth grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He went out on a field trip, the first one of the year 
Backed into a sabertooth and pierced both of his ears 

First aid in the sixth grade 
First aid in the sixth grade 
First aid in the sixth grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the seventh day of seventh grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He tried out for the talent show to show how well he sung 
Cracked a grin, a wasp flew in, and stung him on the tongue 

First aid in the seventh grade 
First aid in the seventh grade 
First aid in the seventh grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the eighth day of eighth grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He tried to play some basketball went up for a dunk 
Landed in the bushes and got squirted by a skunk 

First aid in the eighth grade 
First aid in the eighth grade 
First aid in the eighth grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the ninth day of ninth grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He fed the pigs on grandma's farm , two piglets and a sow 
Slipped on their slop and then got stepped on by a cow 

First aid in the ninth grade 
First aid in the ninth grade 
First aid in the ninth grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the tenth day of tenth grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He went out on some water skis and hit a sunken log 
Wiped out all the lily pads, got spit on by a frog 

First aid in the tenth grade 
First aid in the tenth grade 
First aid in the tenth grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid           
On the eleventh day of eleventh grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He swept and missed an alley cat while taking driver's ed 
Ran into a tree and bumped the dashboard with his head 

First aid in the eleventh grade 
First aid in the eleventh grade 
First aid in the eleventh grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 

Now... Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid 
On the twelfth day of twelfth grade, I'll tell you what he did 
He walked into financial aid, fell and broke a bone 
Showed them all his bills and got a great big college loan 

First aid in the twelfth grade 
First aid in the twelfth grade 
First aid in the twelfth grade 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid 
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!