Parody of "How Do You Like Me Now" by Toby Keith (Toby Keith/Chuck Cannon) Tokeco
Tunes/Wacissa River Music (admin. by MRBI) (BMI)
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music, Inc. (SESAC)

G(arpeggio)       
Yeah I was always the lazy one,
G(arpeggio) 
A Southern Californian, 
    F (133211@1)                          CBut (x32010@1)I've got some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line. 
G(arpeggio)
So this summer just for fun 
G(arpeggio)
Hopped in my DeLorean 
    F (133211@1)                   CAnd (x32010@1)headed for my uncle's farm for a short time. 

Dm (xx0231@1)           Em (022000@1)       F (133211@1)         GI (320003@1)thought that I would be huntin' and fishin'. 
C (x32010@1)                     FI (133211@1)misunderstood him somehow. 
Dm (xx0231@1)           Em (022000@1)        F (133211@1)            GSo (320003@1)far there's nothin' but chores here to mention. 
C (x32010@1)                      FI (133211@1)didn't mind feedin the sows. 
F (133211@1)                   GBut (320003@1)HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?

                  CHow (x32010@1)do you milk a cow? 
            FI (133211@1)wasn't in FFA. 
                        GThis (320003@1)cow must think i'm crazy 
                CUp (x32010@1)under it this way. 
                   F (133211@1)                                     CI'm (x32010@1)sittin' here a pullin', but there ain't nothin' comin' out.
           G (320003@1)Oh E I E I O,
                  C (x32010@1)    C (x32010@1)name="chord_133211@1">F (play twice)
How do you milk a cow? 

G(arpeggio)
Yeah I love it here in Tennesse, 
G(arpeggio)
But these farmers all make fun of me. 
F (133211@1)                      CCan't (x32010@1)haul much hay in a tiny sports car. 
G(arpeggio)
So I got myself a 4 wheel drive, 
G(arpeggio)
Learned to spotlight deer at night, 
    F (133211@1)                           CAnd (x32010@1)I've got shearin' sheep right down to an art. 

Dm (xx0231@1)            EmOne (022000@1)thing's for sure, 
       F (133211@1)         GI (320003@1)hate shovelin' manure, 
C (x32010@1)                 FIt (133211@1)gets all over my overalls. 
Dm (xx0231@1)             EmThem (022000@1)horses need shoein' 
F (133211@1)           GI (320003@1)hear Bessie mooin'. 
     C (x32010@1)                       FSo (133211@1)I thought maybe I'd ask you all. 
F (133211@1)               GHOW (320003@1)DO YOU MILK A COW? 

                  CHow (x32010@1)do you milk a cow? 
                     FI (133211@1)think it's safe to say
                  G (320003@1)                      CA (x32010@1)man could get arrested for this stuff in LA 
                    F (133211@1)                           CThis (x32010@1)heifer must be empty 'cause she ain't puttin out. 
           GOh (320003@1)E I E I O,
                          C (x32010@1)Tell me how do you milk a cow. 

(solo)
(Spoken)
This song is absolutely an "udder" disaster. 
I hope I don't get mad cow diease.

                  CHow (x32010@1)do you milk a cow? 
            FI (133211@1)no longer care. 
                    G (320003@1)                     CI'm (x32010@1)gettin sick and tired of smellin' dairy air. 
                    FI'm (133211@1)headin' back to Cali 
                      CAnd (x32010@1)I'm turnin' in my plow. 
           GOh (320003@1)E I E I O.
                  C (x32010@1)    C (x32010@1)name="chord_133211@1">F (fade) 
How do you milk a cow?