Bb                        C
When i wake up at night, and im feeling horny,
          G                      Bb   G   Bb
i get up out of my bed, and i switch on my tv.
       Bb               C
i slip in a porno, it gives me a boner
     G                         Bb   G    Bb
i reach across the table, i grab my telephone.
               
                CHORUS

        Bb       C              
I dial 1800 transvestite sluts
              G                 Bb     G    Bb
They got the nicest tits and the biggest cocks
 Bb        C                       G                   Bb    G    Bb
1800 transvestite freaks,i give my balls a squeeze my nipples a tweak yeah

Bb,C,G,Bb/G/Bb ,Bb,C,G,Bb/G/Bb

       Bb                  C
I slip into my panties, into my fishnets
            G                    Bb    G   Bb        
i rub some spit upmy ass my man pussy is wet
    Bb                     C
i grab my anal probe and i ram it home
         G                       Bb   G   Bb
while i roughly masturbate my throbbing bone (and i dial)

                CHORUS then 

                BRIDGE
 E                G
and in the day, when nobodies home
 Bb                             C
i feel the k k calling of my telephone
  E                 G
i grab my dildo,my ky jelly
  Bb                         C
my ass is lubed up, i switch on my tv (and i dial)




        Bb       C              
I dial 1800 transvestite sluts
              G                 Bb     G   Bb
They got the nicest tits and the biggest cocks
 Bb        C                       G                   Bb    G    Bb
1800 transvestite freaks,i give my balls a squeeze my nipples a tweak 

   Bb             C              
 1800 yeah the trannies are comin
              G                 Bb        G   Bb
They are jacking off and they will give you a bumming
 Bb             C               
1800 yeah you better run fast
  G                                 Bb
cause they will suck your dick and fuck your ass yeah heaah
               OUTRO (repeat)

 #a          C           G            Bb/G/Bb
la la la la lala lalala la la la lala lalalala
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