Figured Out On Ukulele, Same On Guitar
Capo 1st Fret 
CWe've (x32010@1)been on a bunch of dates
GI (320003@1)weigh debates that this creates
         F (133211@1)                                         GAnd (320003@1)hate that state of forced introspection
C (x32010@1)             
We traded wit, we swapped some spit,
GYou (320003@1)fingered me a little bit
F (133211@1)                                     GBut (320003@1)we never really had a connection

F (133211@1)                          C (x32010@1)  F (133211@1)                     CYou (x32010@1)did nothing wrong, I have no excuse
F (133211@1)          C (x32010@1)                                           GJust (320003@1)my intuition telling me we shouldn't reproduce

CI (x32010@1)know I have to end it
GBut (320003@1)pretend to just suspend it
    F (133211@1)                               GBy (320003@1)contending that I'm busy all week
CI (x32010@1)let the foregone linger on
GText (320003@1)back with an emoticon
F (133211@1)                               GWithdraw (320003@1)from you by being oblique

F (133211@1)        C (x32010@1)             F (133211@1)                 CInside (x32010@1)I know my tactics just delay it
            F (133211@1)           C (x32010@1)                                   GBut (320003@1)I'd do anything so I don't have to say it

F (133211@1)                                    GI'll (320003@1)draw this out forever like it's Vietnam
                  F (133211@1)                       GThen (320003@1)one day I'll be gone like Bambi's mom Awww

F (133211@1)                    CCause (x32010@1)there's the right thing to do
                                F (133211@1)               CThen (x32010@1)there's what I'm gonna do
              F (133211@1)               CThere's (x32010@1)so much I should say
               G (320003@1)                      AmBut (x02210@1)instead... I do the fade away

G (320003@1)                            CNow (x32010@1)I'm fading like chalk on a sidewalk
                  G (320003@1)                       COr (x32010@1)the polio virus after Jonas Salk
          G (320003@1)                                   CLike (x32010@1)a Jewish guy at Arby's on Yom Kippur
AmThe (x02210@1)Whig party post Millard Fillmore

G (320003@1)                                         CThe (x32010@1)erection of a man on antidepressants
      G (320003@1)                                       CThe (x32010@1)cast of Diff'rent Strokes after adolescence
G (320003@1)                                     CReproductive (x32010@1)rights below the Mason Dixon
AmNative (x02210@1)Americans after the barter systems

Dm (xx0231@1)                            GYour (320003@1)thyroid gland after Hashimoto
Dm (xx0231@1)                               DThe (xx0232@1)family in the Back to the Future photo
AmYeah (x02210@1)I fade away

C (x32010@1)                                       GWe (320003@1)say that men are asshole who don't communicate
       F (133211@1)                                                     GWe (320003@1)revel in our victimhood and amplify our hate
            C (x32010@1)                                 GWe (320003@1)find ways to be indignant like it's a sport
                        F (133211@1)                                     GThen (320003@1)dissect their malignance with the views we distort

F (133211@1)                      C (x32010@1)               F (133211@1)                CThe (x32010@1)way men break up may be sloppy and terse
          F (133211@1)                   C (x32010@1)                GWhat (320003@1)they do is bad, but what we do is worse

C (x32010@1)                               GWe (320003@1)pretend to ourselves it's the nice thing to do
      F (133211@1)                             GTo (320003@1)let you down gently by just not fucking telling you
        C (x32010@1)                                     GAnd (320003@1)deep down we know it's the worst way to play it
             F (133211@1)                        GBut (320003@1)we are what we have... huge pussies

G (320003@1)                 CAnd (x32010@1)women are hypocrites
G (320003@1)                     CEspecially (x32010@1)ones in comedy bands
G (320003@1)                             CWe (x32010@1)see your faults but not our own
AmThen (x02210@1)we wonder why we're all alone

F (133211@1)                     C (x32010@1)      F (133211@1)             CWe (x32010@1)fill you up with maybe's, excuses and stalls
F (133211@1)                                GBut (320003@1)like a baby in China... it's better to have balls

F (133211@1)                                        GNot (320003@1)the Good Wife type like Christine Baranski
          F (133211@1)                                   GSo (320003@1)I'll pull out and leave like I'm Roman Polanski

F (133211@1)                    CCause (x32010@1)there's the right thing to do
                                F (133211@1)                 CThen (x32010@1)there's what I'm gonna do
                    F (133211@1)                     CThere's (x32010@1)so much I should say
       G (320003@1)                              AmBut (x02210@1)instead... I do the fade away
        
          G (320003@1)                             CLike (x32010@1)Verbal Kint fading into Kaiser Soze
       G (320003@1)                                              CThe (x32010@1)rights in Arizona for a guy named Jose
G (320003@1)                             COpportunities (x32010@1)for a college grad
AmThe (x02210@1)love between your mom and dad
G (320003@1)                              CGonna (x32010@1)Peter out like a gay Cetera
G (320003@1)                             CIranian (x32010@1)relations since the Regan era
G (320003@1)                                      CBlack (x32010@1)Nike sales after Heaven's Gate
AmSummer (x02210@1)Camp attendance at Penn State

Dm (xx0231@1)                            GThe (320003@1)name Adolph after World War Two
        Dm (xx0231@1)                            DLike (xx0232@1)Debbie Gibson's pop career, Out of the Blue
AmYeah (x02210@1)I fade away
                G (320003@1)                     CCause (x32010@1)I don't wanna get to know you
                      G (320003@1)        CI (x32010@1)just want to blow you... off
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