DIt's (xx0232@1)your birthday today,

what does that mean? I guess I'll try to explain,
                               Gthat (320003@1)twenty-one years ago on this day,
            A (x02220@1)                                       D (xx0232@1)   
it was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face,

and nine months before that magical day,

your dad probably took your mom out on a date,
              Gand (320003@1)they were having a good time,
                               Dthey (xx0232@1)were dancing and drinking wine,


(optional chorus used on an episode of The League)
D (xx0232@1)   G (320003@1)    Ahappy (x02220@1)birthday,
      B (x2444x@1)    Ghappy (320003@1)birthday,
      A (x02220@1)    Dhappy (xx0232@1)birthday,


Dand (xx0232@1)when they got home they were horny as hell,

and your dad threw your mom down on the bed,
       Gand (320003@1)he tore her panties off,
                  Dand (xx0232@1)his penis was hard as a rock,

and then your mom really wanted to give your dad head,

but your dad also wanted to give your mom head,
        Gso (320003@1)they formed a sixty-nine,
                     Dand (xx0232@1)your mom came at least three times,


Dand (xx0232@1)then your dad was so excited to get inside your mom,

that he forgot to put a condom on,
            Gand (320003@1)when he realized his mistake,
A (x02220@1)                              Dhe (xx0232@1)had ejaculated and it was too late,


D (xx0232@1)           G (320003@1)     Aand (x02220@1)then your mom got pregnant,
         D (xx0232@1)         Gand (320003@1)your dad started crying,
               D (xx0232@1)           Ahe (x02220@1)wanted your mom to get an abortion,
         D (xx0232@1)          Gbut (320003@1)your mom wanted a child,
Aand (x02220@1)nine months later your were born,
    G (320003@1)                                  D (xx0232@1)               
 and five months later your parents got a divorce