D5
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
                    A5
Who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
                              D5
Who could think you under the table

David Hume could out-consume
                   G5
Whilhelm Friedrich Hegel
    A5
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
                           D5
Who was just as sloshed as Schlagel
                A5
There's nothin' Nieizsche couldn't teach ya

'Bout the raising of the wrist
            D5        B5          E5
Socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill of his own free will
After half a pint o' shanty became particularly ill
Plato they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
`I drink therefore I am'

But Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed