G5
The bottom line's been snorted
C5                      G5
The bottom card's been dealt
D5
No one knows like you know right now
C5                G5
How truly bad it felt

G5
All your life you wasted, oh
C5                  G5
Dreamin' about the day
D5
When worker bees kill off their queen
C5                      G5
And carry all her eggs away


CHORUS
C5
Oh, and if you die fearing God
G5             C5
And painfully employed
G5                      D5
No, you will not go to heaven
             C5          G5
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois

G5
Up north is Chicago
C5                        G5
Where booze makes no one blush
D5
Memory comes back to you
C5                   G5
In a double bourbon rush

G5
The memories aren't all bad
C5                       G5
And neither, my friend, are you
D5
There is an argument that there must be some heaven meant
C5                        G5
For hearts that are half true


CHORUS
C5
And if you spend your whole life
G5                   C5
Rollin' horses into Troy
G5                      D5
No, you will not go to heaven
             C5          G5
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
G5                      D5
No, you will not go to heaven
             C5          G5
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois

G5
Roll on blacktop highway
C5                  G5
Circles toward the sun
D5
Springfield's in the distance
C5                       G5
And that's the last big one

G5
After that comes judgment
C5                    G5
And judgment will be swift
D5
You will be eliminated
C5                    G5
But here's a parting gift


CHORUS
C5
Oh, and if you die fearing God
G5             C5
And painfully employed
G5                      D5
No, you will not go to heaven
             C5          G5
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois