E5                         A5 
I saw a garage sale, pulled up in the yard 
        E5                        B5 
Found a statue of Jesus that was eight feet tall 
   E5                        A5  
He held out his arms and he seemed all alone 
     E5                   A5         B5  
So I loaded him up and I drove him home 

Out by my driveway, he looks down the street 

Long hair and sandals made of rebar and concrete 

I painted him white with a long purple robe 

He's the rock of ages on a gravel road 

Chorus: 
        E5 B5       A5  E5  
He's an 800 pound Jesus 
         A5             B5 
Standing taller than a tree 
        E5 B5       A5  E5 
He's an 800 pound Jesus 
         A5        B5      E5 
A bigger man than you or me 


I felt losing my job was the end of the world 
Till my best pal ran off with my best girl 
I felt suicidal with no real friends 
So I walked outside with a rope in my hands 

Out by that statue, there's a big oak tree 
So I stood on his shoulders and I counted to three 
I had every intention of buying the farm 
But when I jumped off he caught me in his arms 

Chorus 

I wanted to return the favor to him 
Cause I've never had a more solid friend 
So I planted some flowers all around his feet 
And I bought him a flock of ceramic sheep 

Chorus 


He's a bigger man than you or me