Riff 1
( G5 C5 G5 D5 G5 C5 G5 D5 G5 ) X 2

G5
Everyday in Lunch in high school 
       D5
And all my senior year,
                              C5             G5
I'd drink my coca-cola with a touch of everclear.
                             D5
I didn't have to study math, science or history,
                                 C5            G5
I'd have a chemical flashback to jog my memory.
                               D5
My junior year I swore I loved sweet miss Sherry Ann
                                      C5           G5
One night I put some everclear in her dr. pepper can.
  C5
I thought it would make her easy,
G5
But she took it pretty hard
           D5
I took her home and rang her doorbell,
           C5              G5 
Left her laying in the yard.

CHORUS
C5                G5
Tequila dries me out,
C5                       G5
And beer just makes me fat,
D5
Whiskey makes me nauseous,
        C5                  G5
Tell me who the hell needs that.
G5
If you're thinkin' bout drinkin,
     D5
The answer's crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,
C5                          
It's called everclear.

Riff 1 X 2

G5
I remember my church picnic
        D5
In the spring of '89

They had four fresh watermelons, 
C5                         G5
Sliced right off the vine.

When the bowed their heads
D5
Giving Grace for the food,

I pulled out my bottle,
           C5             G5
And I soaked them melons good.

They never knew what hit em ,
         D5
When the potion went to work,

They had grandmas doing backflips,
         C5                G5
Grandpas looking up their skirts.
          C5
They were singing hallelujah,
    G5
And Willie Nelson songs.
            D5
My preacher said it was the best dang picnic
         C5
That the Baptists have ever thrown.

CHORUS
C5                G5
Tequila dries me out,
C5                       G5
And beer just makes me fat,
D5
Whiskey makes me nauseous,
        C5                  G5
Tell me who the hell needs that.
G5
If you're thinkin' bout drinkin,
     D5
The answer's crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,
C5                          
It's called everclear.

SOLO
Play RIFF 1, 3 times

G5
Well now I'm drinking everclear,
             D5
Thinking I'm king of this whole world

I'm bigger n badder than John Wayne,
C5                  G5
Cooler than Steve Earl.
G5                      D5
Till I wake up and I'm face down in the hall,
                               C5              G5
And I'm completely naked for a reason I can't recall
G5                            D5
I'm kinda sorta thinkin that maybe I met a chick

Cause there is perfume in the air 
             C5             G5
And there is lipstick on my neck
       C5
Well I hope that she was pretty,
      G5
And I hope that she was kind
D5
Enough to leave my clothes somewhere 
        C5
They're easy to find

CHORUS
C5                G5
Tequila dries me out,
C5                       G5
And beer just makes me fat,
D5
Whiskey makes me nauseous,
        C5                  G5
Tell me who the hell needs that.
G5
If you're thinkin' bout drinkin,
     D5
The answer's crystal clear,

It's the invisible intoxicant,
C5                          
It's called everclear.

Riff 1 X 3