Hey girl
   I got somethin' real important to give you
   So just sit down and listen

Fm (133111@1)                      Gm (355333@1)           Cm (x3101x@1)  Girl you know we've been together such a long long time
   (Such a long time)
   Fm (133111@1)           Gm (355333@1)       Cm (x3101x@1)      And now I'm ready   to lay it on the line
   Fm (133111@1)              Gm (355333@1)             Cm (x3101x@1)  Wow, you know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide
   (Open wide)
   Fm (133111@1)          Gm (355333@1)                         Cm (x3101x@1)  Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
   (What's on my mind)

Fm (133111@1)          Gm (355333@1)  A gift real special,
      Cm (x3101x@1)  So take off the top
                 Fm (133111@1)  take a look inside
Gm (355333@1)                 Cm (x3101x@1)  It's my dick in a box
   (It's in a box)

Fm (133111@1)             Gm (355333@1)  Not gonna get you a diamond ring
   Cm (x3101x@1)  That sort of gift don't mean anything
   Fm (133111@1)               Gm (355333@1)  Not gonna get you a fancy car
   Cm (x3101x@1)  Girl, ya gotta know you're my shinin' star

---                 Gm (355333@1)  Not gonna get you a house in the hills
     Cm (x3101x@1)  A girl like you needs somethin' real
   Fm (133111@1)                   Gm (355333@1)  Wanna get you somethin' from the heart
   Cm (x3101x@1)  Somethin' special girl

Fm (let ring)
   It's my dick in a box
Gm (355333@1)            Cm (x3101x@1) 
   My dick in a box babe
                     Fm (133111@1)  It's my dick in a box
Gm (355333@1)                 Cm (x3101x@1)  Ooh, my dick in a box girl

---            Gm (355333@1)  See I'm wise enough to know
                     Cm (x3101x@1)  When a gift needs givin', and I got just the one
Fm (133111@1)            Gm (355333@1)                         Cm (x3101x@1)  Somethin' to show ya that you are second to none

Fm (133111@1)                 Gm (355333@1)  To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
        Cm (x3101x@1)  It's easy to do just follow these steps:
    
  (Fm)    Gm (355333@1)  1, cut a hole in a box
   Cm (x3101x@1)  2, put your junk in that box
  (Fm)        Gm (355333@1)  3, make her open the box
   Cm (x3101x@1)  And that's the way you do it

(no chords)
   It's my dick in a box
                Cm (x3101x@1)  My dick in a box babe
                     Fm (133111@1)  It's my dick in a box
     Gm (355333@1)            Cm (x3101x@1)  Ooh, my dick in a box girl

(Fm)      (Gm)
   Christmas, dick in a box
   (Cm)
   Hanukkah, dick in a box
   (Fm)      (Gm)
   Kwanzaa, a dick in a box
   Cm (x3101x@1)  Every single holiday a dick in a box

Fm (133111@1)                          Gm (355333@1)  Over at your parents' house, a dick in a box
   Cm (x3101x@1)  Mid-day at the grocery store, a dick in a box
   Fm (133111@1)              Gm (355333@1)             Cm (x3101x@1)  Backstage at the CMA's, a dick in a box, yeah yeah yeah

(Outro)   
   My dick in a box
   My dick in a box
   My dick in a box