Transcribed by Rob


Intro:
Gm  Eb twice
 
Gm                            Eb
  I know what you're all wondering
                         Gm        Gm
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
                                  Eb
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
                                    Bb
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
                              Eb
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
Bb                              F#        Ab
  Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t
              C
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
Eb
  I'll tell you why


    Bb                    F            Eb                  Gm
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
                F
It's those damn fat gloves
        Bb                    F            Eb                  Gm
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
                 F
Cos the tea goes everywhere
                  Gm
The tea goes everywhere



Gm                                Eb
  Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
                                             Gm
From their traditions to their modern way of life
                                   Eb
But all their elegance and rich history
                                     Bb
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space


 
            Bb                                   F      Eb                 Gm
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
                  F
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
         Bb                  F             Eb                  Gm
And they don't let you use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
                F
You might puncture the suit


 
            Gm
You might depressurize
F                    Gm       F#
 Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve
Ab                    C#
  But it's those damn fat gloves
                 F
They're the main problem
    F#                     C#
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
          F               F#
You can't make an origami swan
         Ab                       A                Bbm               Eb
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
     Eb                        C#
Well I've tried and they don't let you
                 F#
Fucking NASA red tape


Interlude:
Gm  Eb   Gm  Eb   Bb   Eb   Bb   Eb 


Gm                                          Eb
 I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
                                 Gm
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
                                Eb
I had to find myself a whole new job
                                         Bb
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place


 
        Bb                  F            Eb                   Gm
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
                  F
It's those damned fat gloves again
      Bb                             F                Eb             Gm
Those confounded puffy mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
               F
I'm haunted by fat gloves
    Bb
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
   F
Or ride a Kawasaki
Eb                  F#
When you're an astronaut
         F#(let ring)                              Ab(let ring)
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele 
                                A#(let ring)
Cos you're not enough of a red herring


  
***************************************************************************


Capo 3rd fret version


Intro:
Em  C twice
 
Em                            C
  I know what you're all wondering
                         Em        Em
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
                                  C
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
                                    G
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
                              C
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
G                              Eb        F
  Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t
              A
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
C
  I'll tell you why


 
    G                     D            C                  Em
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
                D
It's those damn fat gloves
        G                     D            C                   Em
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
                 D
Cos the tea goes everywhere
                  Em
The tea goes everywhere


Back to verse 


Em                                C
  Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
                                             Em
From their traditions to their modern way of life
                                   C
But all their elegance and rich history
                                     G
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space


 
            G                                    D      C                 Em
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
                  D
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
         G                          D             C                   Em
And they don't let you(Ooooh) use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
                D
You might puncture the suit


 
            Em
You might depressurize
D                    Em       Eb
 Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve
F                     Bb
  But it's those damn fat gloves
                 D
They're the main problem
    Eb                     Bb
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
          D               Eb
You can't make an origami swan
         F                        F#               Gm                C
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
     C                         Bb
Well I've tried and they don't let you
                 Eb
Fucking NASA red tape


Interlude:
Em   C   Em   C   G   C   G   C 


Em                                          C
 I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
                                 Em
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
                                C
I had to find myself a whole new job
                                         G
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place


 
        G                   D            C                    Em
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
                  D
It's those damned fat gloves again
      G                              D                C              Em
Those confounded putty mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
               D
I'm haunted by fat gloves
    G
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
   D
Or ride a Kawasaki
C                   Bb
When you're an astronaut
         Bb(let ring)                              C(let ring)
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele 
                               G(let ring)
Cos you're not enough of a red herri
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