As always, Cardiacs song structure is generally mindbending and really difficult 
to tab up or chord-up as i have tried here. I am pretty sure what i have done is 
accurate, but the piece with the little girl singing " I will tear the secret..." 
etc might not be 100% but seems to fit quite well.
Please, if you find out the exact chords for this, update this as you wish :)

I tried my best to sit the chord changes exactly over the part of the word that 
Tim sings at that moment, to help, but sometimes the webpage will re-arrange 
everything and sit chords willy-nilly over the top of the text, so i hope it's as i wrote !

The chords at the end of each verse, sound better if used as a part-chord 
shape, as it were. G(E3,A2,D0) - G/F#(E2,A2,D0) - E(E0,A2,D2,G1)

Have fun, should be easy to play through this one :)

intro chords

A, G, C, A, 
E, C, A, G,
C, A, E, C

A (x02220@1)       GDon't (320003@1)do anything just stand there

C (x32010@1)                    A (x02220@1)            EHolding (022100@1)the light with man and boy shakin' all hands

G (320003@1)    C (x32010@1)   E (022100@1)              G (320003@1) G/F# (320002@1) E (022100@1) G (320003@1) G/f#   E (022100@1)If I were a bad dog you'd all be dead....



A (x02220@1)            G (320003@1)    
Six big strong boys from the land

C (x32010@1)                   A (x02220@1)       EChewed (022100@1)off a piece of Mary Magdalenes arms

G (320003@1)         C (x32010@1)          E (022100@1)               G (320003@1)G/F# (320002@1) E (022100@1) G (320003@1)G/f#   E (022100@1)
While guard-ians wailed 'Oh for shame! For shame!'

G (320003@1)    AF      BbD     B (x2444x@1)  F# (244322@1) D (xx0232@1) E (022100@1)F#I (244322@1)will tear the se--cret from your ar.....ms

middle instrumental bit (chords)

A, G, C, A, 
E, C, A, G,
C, A, E, C

A (x02220@1)           GAnd (320003@1)come boys out from the hat!

C (x32010@1)               AI (x02220@1)cannot see your feet!

ECome (022100@1)on my lucky lads!

G (320003@1)       C (x32010@1)     E (022100@1)       G (320003@1)G/F# (320002@1) E (022100@1) G (320003@1)G/f#   EYou (022100@1)don't want to live forev-er!....

A (x02220@1)              G (320003@1)                  C (x32010@1)   
As I live and breathe as'if in danger or as if in doubt

A (x02220@1)             E(Ran (022100@1)in circles screaming 'SHOU(t)!')

G (320003@1)       C (x32010@1)   E (022100@1)              G (320003@1)G/F# (320002@1) E (022100@1) G (320003@1)G/f#   E (022100@1)If I were a bad dog you'd all be dead...



G (320003@1)   AF     Bb (x1333x@1)    D (xx0232@1)  B (x2444x@1)  F# (244322@1)E (022100@1)F#(Crucified) (244322@1)I thought you  were de.....ad