Um, first post ever...feel free to tell me your corrections! As of now I'm not 
sure how to make it see my chords...suggestions? So I can fix it?

Also, sometimes I like to transpose this so I can play it in capo 5 but in the 
same key, because it's easier.

***************************************************************************
[VERSE 1]
         F (133211@1)            A (x02220@1)           Dm (xx0231@1)           DmI (xx0231@1)didn't mean it when I said I hope the cable in the elevator 
Bb (x1333x@1)       Bb (x1333x@1)        F (133211@1)    CSnaps (x32010@1)when you step on board

A (x02220@1)           A (x02220@1)    Dm (xx0231@1)                DmAnd (xx0231@1)I was joking when I said I hope you crack your head
        G (320003@1)                G (320003@1)              C (x32010@1)  CAnd (x32010@1)get mangled by the downstairs revolving door

F (133211@1)            A (x02220@1)             Dm (xx0231@1)          DmAnd (xx0231@1)I was kidding when I said I hope the number one-oh three bus
Bb (x1333x@1)             Bb (x1333x@1)           F (133211@1)   CHits (x32010@1)and makes a pancake out of you

Dm (xx0231@1)  Dm (xx0231@1)   A (x02220@1)   AI'm (x02220@1)sorry,   I'm sorry
       Bb (x1333x@1)          C (x32010@1)                F (133211@1)  CIsn't (x32010@1)amazing what a woman in love will do?

[VERSE 2] (same as the last verse)
And I don't really want to see your taxi on the 59th street bridge
Flip over and crash through the rail
And I'd feel bad if at the airport you were mistaken for a local sex offender
Arrested, beaten up, and thrown in jail

And I really don't want to see you getting radiation poisonining from the
   metal detector
That all passengers on foreign and domestic flights must walk through
I'm sorry, forgive me
For all the mean things I said to you

[BRIDGE]
A (x02220@1)            A (x02220@1)           Dm (xx0231@1)   Dm (xx0231@1)You thought I didn't have a temper
   A (x02220@1)         A (x02220@1)             Dm (xx0231@1)   DmHa (xx0231@1)ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise!
      A (x02220@1)                  A (x02220@1)        Dm (xx0231@1)                      DmBut (xx0231@1)I really don't want to see you dismembered by the marijuana sniffing dogs 
       G (320003@1)           G (320003@1)              C (x32010@1)            CWhen (x32010@1)a simple little nipping would suffice, would suffice

[VERSE 3] (again, same as the first one)
And I'm sorry that I said I hope the plane explodes in mid-air
As it carries you away from me
And I'm sorry that I said I hope you break both legs
On the mountain while you ski

And I'm sorry for all the nasty things I said about your mother
Even though we both know they're true
(it's different here at the end)
    Dm (xx0231@1)  Dm (xx0231@1)  A (x02220@1)     AI'm (x02220@1)sorry,   forgive me
    Dm (xx0231@1)          Dm (xx0231@1)              A (x02220@1)           AI'm (x02220@1)swallowing my pride I'd feel so guilty if you died
        Bb (x1333x@1)       F (133211@1)  -    C (x32010@1)    F- (133211@1)Bb (x1333x@1) FOh, (133211@1)I'm sorry, but I'm still mad at you.