THE LAUGHING GNOME

C (x32010@1)                                         Ab (xx1114@1)              C (x32010@1)I was walking- down the high street- when I heard footsteps behind me,

Ab (xx1114@1)                   C (x32010@1)    F (133211@1)         C (x32010@1)   F (133211@1)           C (x32010@1)and there was a little old man in scarlet and grey, chuckling away.

Ab (xx1114@1)           C (x32010@1)Well he trotted- back to my house- and he sat beside the telly,

Ab (xx1114@1)              C (x32010@1)     F (133211@1)      C (x32010@1)     F (133211@1)           C (x32010@1)with his tiny hands on his tummy, chuckling away,  chugging all day.





[spoken]  "I ought to report you to the gnome office."  "Gnome office, ha,ha,ha!"



Bb9 (x1011x@1)         F7 (131241@1)             Bb9 (x1011x@1)                         F7 (131241@1)Ha,ha,  ha!-  Hee,hee,  hee!-  I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.-



Bb9 (x1011x@1)         F7 (131241@1)             Bb9 (x1011x@1)                         Ab7 (xx1112@1)          F7 (131241@1)Ha,ha,  ha!-  Hee,hee,  hee!-  I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.-



C (x32010@1)Said the laughing gnome.

Ab (xx1114@1)               C (x32010@1)

Well I gave him- roasted toad-stools-  And a glass of dandelion wine.



Ab (xx1114@1)                  C (x32010@1)            F (133211@1)         C (x32010@1)     F (133211@1)            C (x32010@1)Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne and carried his bag and gave him a fag.





C (x32010@1)"Ave you got a light boy?"  "'Ere! Where do you come from?"





"Gnome-man's land."  "Oh,really."



C (x32010@1)                                    Ab (xx1114@1)                      C (x32010@1)In the morning- when I woke up- he was sitting on the edge of my bed-



Ab (xx1114@1)                   C (x32010@1)         F (133211@1)         C (x32010@1)       F (133211@1)             C (x32010@1)with his brother whose name was Fred.  He'd brought him along- to sing me a song.-



C (x32010@1)"Alright let's here it?"  "'Ere! what's that clicking sound?"



F (133211@1)"That's Fred. He's a metrognome."   "Own up. I'm a gnome, ain' I?"



C (x32010@1)"Ain't you got a gnome to go to?"





"No! We're gnomads."    "Didn't they teach you to get your 'aircut at school? You 
look like a rolling gnome."





"Not at the London school of Ecognomics."



C (x32010@1)                                          Ab (xx1114@1)                 C (x32010@1)Now they staying- up the chimney-  and we're living on caviar and honey-



Ab (xx1114@1)               C (x32010@1)           F (133211@1)    C (x32010@1)       F (133211@1)    C (x32010@1)'cause they're earning me lots of money,writing comedy prose for radio shows.

"It's the er- it's the gnome service, of course."

[repeat chorus and fade]