Intro:
G#, C#
Fm, C#

G# (xx1114@1)                          C# (x43121@1)      
Such was the expression of the child
                        FmAs (133111@1)he bounced across my windscreen
                  C#And (x43121@1)off the other side.

G# (xx1114@1)
That I got the strong impression
      C# (x43121@1)                          FmFor (133111@1)a second that he wasn't so much angry
                 C#As (x43121@1)incredibly surprised.

C# (x43121@1)                                D#As (x43121@3)I watched him in my rear view mirror slowly slip away,
  C# (x43121@1)                          D#I (x43121@3)turned to my instructor and I felt I had to say,
       G# (xx1114@1)              C (x32010@1)          C#Do (x43121@1)you think we should reschedule the test?
           G# (xx1114@1)            C (x32010@1)               C#'Cause (x43121@1)I'm starting now to think it might be best.

Fm (133111@1)Either way, I'm pretty sure
               C#You (x43121@1)could have taught me clutch control
     D# (x43121@3)                             G#In (xx1114@1)a playground that was emptier than this.

G#, C#
Fm, C#

G# (xx1114@1)                          C#Such (x43121@1)was the blind panic of the boy scouts
                     FmAs (133111@1)I backed into the duck pond
                     C#In (x43121@1)the middle of the green.

G#That (xx1114@1)it became a little clearer
        C# (x43121@1)                              FmWhy (133111@1)the mirror said that objects featured in it
                          C#Might (x43121@1)be closer than they seem.

C# (x43121@1)                                    D#As (x43121@3)I watched the displaced goldfish flapping vainly on the grass
   C# (x43121@1)                         D#I (x43121@3)smiled at the policeman and I felt I had to ask,
        G# (xx1114@1)        C (x32010@1)          C#Would (x43121@1)a fifty maybe make this go away?
         G# (xx1114@1)              C (x32010@1)             C#'Cause (x43121@1)I really don't have time for this today.

FmBesides (133111@1)which how am I supposed to learn to drive
         C#When (x43121@1)everywhere I turn there's
        D# (x43121@3)                              G#Five (xx1114@1)or six small children getting in the way.

Fm (133111@1)                   C# (x43121@1) 
I would later learn that was the moment
    A# (x1333x@1)                         FmThe (133111@1)SWAT team was mobilised
             C# (x43121@1)And that the car chase that followed
    A# (x1333x@1)                    FmWas (133111@1)globally televised.

In fact I'm told that they
 C# (x43121@1)                     A# (x1333x@1)                FmStill (133111@1)use the footage for police training video
                C# (x43121@1)    
And though I've not seen it personally
     A# (x1333x@1)                          G#I've (xx1114@1)learned that it basically shows

(From here to the end just repeat the intro pattern G#, C#, Fm, C#)

C# (x43121@1)                       FmMe (133111@1)and my instructor tearing down the autobahn
                  C# (x43121@1)                        G#Doing (xx1114@1)ninety in a Mazda with the handbrake on
                             C# (x43121@1)                      FmPloughing (133111@1)recklessly through traffic, cones and trees.
                   C# (x43121@1)             G#I (xx1114@1)am Thelma to his terrified Louise

C# (x43121@1)                 FmAnd (133111@1)all the while I got him screaming in my head
                                  C# (x43121@1)               G# (xx1114@1)    
That I should probably change up out of second gear,
                          C# (x43121@1)                   FmCheck (133111@1)my mirrors, keep my hands at two and ten
                                C# (x43121@1)              G#And (xx1114@1)maybe give some thought to turning myself in.

But in spite of everything,
   C# (x43121@1)                  FmWe (133111@1)made it to the border
                                   C#Though (x43121@1)the last two miles was in reverse
                        G#Up (xx1114@1)the hard shoulder.

That old car was dead,
    C# (x43121@1)                   FmBut (133111@1)somehow we'd survived.

We climbed out of the wreck
    C# (x43121@1)                  G#And (xx1114@1)solemnly high-fived.

So that's how me and my instructor
Moved to Switzerland.
Opened up a little cafe
In the hinterland.

And though I never got my licence, in the end,
I found something so much better
A brand new, bestest friend.