Artist: Half Man Half Biscuit http://www.hmhb.co.uk/ Track: Asparagus Next Left Album: Achtung Bono Tabber: Woodshed INTRO Riff A A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) G (320003@1) A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) Ge|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| (320003@1)B|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| G|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| D|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| A|--0--0-0-5--5--2-3-2-3-2------|----0--0-0-5-5-5--2-------------------| E|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) G (320003@1) A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) Ge|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| (320003@1)B|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| G|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| D|------------------------------|--------------------------------------| A|--0--0-0-5--5--2-3-2-3-2------|----0--0-0-5-5-5----------------------| E|------------------------------|------------------3-------------------| A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GWe've (320003@1)just been performing a guerilla gig A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GIn (320003@1)the middle of another group's guerilla gig A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GWell, (320003@1)surely that's the ultimate guerilla gig A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GBut (320003@1)still they cried like girls C (x32010@1) C (x32010@1) B (x2444x@1) A (x02220@1) GRoad (320003@1)signs on our country lanes may G (320003@1) DNot (xx0232@1)be what they seem C (x32010@1) C (x32010@1) B (x2444x@1) A (x02220@1) GAsparagus (320003@1)next left who says G (320003@1) D"I've (xx0232@1)been up stream" C (x32010@1) C (x32010@1) BA GGoing (320003@1)down there for plum tomatoes G (320003@1) DIt's (xx0232@1)not a good idea CFor (x32010@1)'horse manure 200 yards' read D'Bottomless (xx0232@1)perdition' Riff A A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GWhen (320003@1)the club versus country dispute arose A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GSmall (320003@1)children were trampled in the exodus A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GWe (320003@1)all knew someone at primary school A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GWho (320003@1)had a really powerful magnet C (x32010@1) C (x32010@1) BA GNew (320003@1)potatoes this a way an G (320003@1) DArrow (xx0232@1)points innocently C (x32010@1) C (x32010@1)B (x2444x@1) A (x02220@1) GDirt (320003@1)track to a darker place that's G (320003@1) DWhat (xx0232@1)it says to me C (x32010@1) C (x32010@1)B (x2444x@1) A (x02220@1)GLast (320003@1)chance for hanging baskets G (320003@1) DThere (xx0232@1)even giving you clues CFresh (x32010@1)broad-beans and aubergines DEuphemisms, (xx0232@1)Audrey, euphemisms GUITAR SOLO G (320003@1) Ce|---------------------------------------------------------------------| (x32010@1)B|------------5---------------5------3---------------------------------| G|--5/7--7--7---7----7--7---7---7--4---5-------------------------------| D|---------------------------------------------------------------------| A|---------------------------------------------------------------------| E|---------------------------------------------------------------------| G (320003@1) Ce|---------------------------------------------------------------------| (x32010@1)B|------------5---------------5------3---------------------------------| G|--777--7--7---7----7--7---7---7--4---5-----------5/-----------------| D|---------------------------------------------------------------------| A|---------------------------------------------------------------------| E|---------------------------------------------------------------------| G (320003@1) Ce|--3--3-3-----3-3--5-3--------------3-3---5-3-------------------------| (x32010@1)B|--3--3-3-----3-3------5-3----------3-3--------5-3-----3--------------| G|--------5b7-------------------5b7-------------------5---5------------| D|---------------------------------------------------------------------| A|---------------------------------------------------------------------| E|---------------------------------------------------------------------| G (320003@1) Ce|---3-3----3-3----3-3----3-3------3-3----3-3----3-3-3--5-3--------------| (x32010@1)B|---3-3----3-3----3-3----3-3------3-3----3-3----3-3-3-------5-3---------| G|-------5b7----5b7---5b7-----5b7-----5b7----5b7------------------5--5---| D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| Riff A A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GWhatever (320003@1)happened to the plumber's van A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GHumble (320003@1)amateur transit van A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GVans (320003@1)have become ridiculous with their A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GStrategies (320003@1)and logistics C (x32010@1) C (x32010@1)BA GVeer (320003@1)soon for marmalade I G (320003@1) DDon't (xx0232@1)think so Joe C (x32010@1) C (x32010@1) B (x2444x@1) A (x02220@1)GAnd (320003@1)why are the tractors turning G (320003@1) DWe (xx0232@1)really ought to know C (x32010@1) CB A (x02220@1) GSo (320003@1)stay alert minor roads G (320003@1) DRemember (xx0232@1)Phyllis ... COoh, (x32010@1)rhubarb let's go D (xx0232@1) AShe's (x02220@1)still not been accounted for