http://freespace.virgin.net/stephen.theobald/biggun.htm


D (xx0232@1)       G (320003@1)       D (xx0232@1)     GMy (320003@1)mother said that I never should
A (x02220@1)                                     Dplay (xx0232@1)with the naughty rude girls in the wood.
               G (320003@1)          D (xx0232@1)         GTheir (320003@1)giggling talk I could never understand
    A (x02220@1)                                      Dand (xx0232@1)that's when I fell in love with my right hand

and that's why


      GI'm (320003@1)a wanker, I'm a wanker
       C (x32010@1)                  Gand (320003@1)it does me good like it bloody well should.
      GI'm (320003@1)a wanker, I'm a wanker
        D (xx0232@1)               Gand (320003@1)I'm always pullin' my pud!


      D (xx0232@1)      G (320003@1)    D (xx0232@1)       GI (320003@1)was 25 years old before I was kissed
    A (x02220@1)                                               Dand (xx0232@1)then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist
                  G (320003@1)          D (xx0232@1)         GIt's (320003@1)cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD!
       A (x02220@1)                                     DIt's (xx0232@1)available at any time and it's absolutely free!

and that's why

      GI'm (320003@1)a wanker, I'm a wanker
       C (x32010@1)                  Gand (320003@1)it does me good like it bloody well should.
      GI'm (320003@1)a wanker, I'm a wanker
        D (xx0232@1)               Gand (320003@1)I'm always pullin' my pud!

G (320003@1)                    C (x32010@1)         GOh, (320003@1)Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters,
C (x32010@1)           G (320003@1)           Dthank (xx0232@1)you for having me and being oh so kind.
         G (320003@1)                     C (x32010@1)              GI've (320003@1)got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter.
C (x32010@1)                     G (320003@1)         D (xx0232@1)             GMy (320003@1)knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind.

     D (xx0232@1)         G (320003@1)         D (xx0232@1)         GI've (320003@1)wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain
     A (x02220@1)                                             DI've (xx0232@1)wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train.
     D (xx0232@1)    G (320003@1)          D (xx0232@1)         GI've (320003@1)used a badger and a melon and a cat
A (x02220@1)                                               Dan (xx0232@1)inflateable Linda Lovelegs and a Davy Crockett hat!

and that's why

      GI'm (320003@1)a wanker, I'm a wanker
       C (x32010@1)                  Gand (320003@1)it does me good like it bloody well should.
      GI'm (320003@1)a wanker, I'm a wanker
        D (xx0232@1)               Gand (320003@1)I'm always pullin' my pud!

G (320003@1)                    C (x32010@1)         GOh, (320003@1)Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters,
C (x32010@1)           G (320003@1)           Dthank (xx0232@1)you for having me and being oh so kind.
         G (320003@1)                     C (x32010@1)              GI've (320003@1)got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter.
   C (x32010@1)                  G (320003@1)         D (xx0232@1)             GMy (320003@1)knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind.