#----------------------------------PLEASE NOTE---------------------------------#
#This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the #
#song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. #
#------------------------------------------------------------------------------##
from: Christian Korbanka, Cologne, Germany
e-mail: Christian_Korbanka@msn.com
lyrics and chords of: How To Be Dumb by Elvis Costello

Suggestions and corrections are always welcome!
date: 95/10/15

G
I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration
  D
While you were living like a saint
G
And all the time the very one you trusted
      Em                         Bm
Was washing off somebody else's paint

G
Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation
  D
Every fleeting thought is a pearl
        G
And beautiful people stampede through the doorway of
      Em                    Bm
The funniest fucker of the world

F
They're here to help you
Dm             Bm
Satisfy your desire
                       C                           G
There's a bright future for all you professional liars

              C         D
Now you know how to be dumb
          G                  C
Are you ready to take your place in
     G/B          D
The modern museum of mistakes?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
          G                  C
Like a building thrown up overnight
   G/B             D
In one of those reverse earthquakes

G
They emptied out all the asylums,
D
They emptied out all the goals
G
The "New Bruise" was the name of the dance craze
     Em                        Bm
By "Jesus Cross and the Cruel Nails"
G
Followed up by "Tortouzring Little Beaver"
 D
With their contraption of barbed wire
G
Between the fear and the fever lies
Em                        Bm
All the  rejection they require

F
They'll be howling by midnight,
Dm                      Bm
They'll be drooling by dawn
                                          C
Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains
                   G
Heads shaven and shorn

              C         D
Now you know how to be dumb
          G                  C
Are you ready to take your place in
     G/B          D
The modern museum of mistakes?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
          G                  C
Like a building thrown up overnight
   G/B             D
In one of those reverse earthquakes

  Em
Trapped in the house of the Perpetual Sucker
          C                       D
Where bitterness always ends so pityful
Em
You always had to dress up your envy in
 C                       D
Some half-remembered philosophy

 G
Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
       D
Whose every bad intention has been purged
G
You could've walked out any time you wanted
     Em                           Bm
But face it you didn't have the courage
G
I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite
    D
Or some kind of twisted dilletante
  G
Funny though people don't usually get so ugly
           Em                        Bm
'Til they think they know what they want

F
Scratch you own head stupid
Dm
Count up to three
Bm                 C
Roll over on your back
             G
Repeat after me

                C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb
          G                  C
Are you ready to take your place in
     G/B          D
The modern museum of mistakes?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
          G                  C
Like a building thrown up overnight
   G/B             D
In one of those reverse earthquakes

G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
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