"Thank You God" by Tim Minchin Tuning: Standard Odd chords (in order of appearance): Cadd4: x-3-3-0-1-0 Bb: x-1-3-3-3-1 C7: x-3-2-3-1-0 Fdim7: 1-x-0-1-0-1 Cdim7: x-0-1-2-1-2 Ab: 4-6-6-5-4-4 F (133211@1) CI (x32010@1)have an apology to make, DmI'm (xx0231@1)afraid I've made a big mistake, Cadd4 CI (x32010@1)turned my face away from You, Lord. F (133211@1) CI (x32010@1)was too blind to see the light, DmI (xx0231@1)was too weak to feel your might, Cadd4 CI (x32010@1)closed my eyes, I couldn't see the truth, Lord. E (022100@1) AmBut (x02210@1)then like Saul on the Damascus road, E (022100@1) AmYou (x02210@1)sent a messenger to me, and so, FI (133211@1)have had the truth revealed to me, EmPlease (022000@1)forgive me all those things I said, FI'll (133211@1)no longer betray you, Lord, GI (320003@1)will pray to you instead. Bb (x1333x@1) F (133211@1) CAnd (x32010@1)I will say thank you, thank you, thank you God. Bb (x1333x@1) F (133211@1) CThank (x32010@1)you, thank you, thank you God. C (x32010@1) GThank (320003@1)you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum. I had no idea but it's suddenly so clear, C (x32010@1) C7Now (x32310@1)I feel such a cynic how could I have been so dumb? FThank (133211@1)you for displaying how praying works, CA (x32010@1)particular prayer in a particular church, D (xx0232@1) GThank (320003@1)you Sam, for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent ophthalmologist. C (x32010@1) GThank (320003@1)you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum. I didn't realise that it was so simple, C (x32010@1) C7But (x32310@1)you've shown a great example of just how it can be done, FYou (133211@1)only need to pray in a particular spot, CTo (x32010@1)a particular version of a particular god, DAnd (xx0232@1)if you pull that off without a hitch, GHe (320003@1)will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch. Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 I know in the past my outlook has been limited, Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 I couldn't see examples of where life had been divinitive, F (133211@1) CBut (x32010@1)I can admit it when the evidence is clear, D (xx0232@1) GAs (320003@1)clear as Sam's mum's new cornea. That's extremely clear! Extremely clear! C (x32010@1) GThank (320003@1)you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum. I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical, C (x32010@1) C7But (x32310@1)Sam described this miracle and I am overcome. FHow (133211@1)fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention, CShould (x32010@1)open my eyes to this exciting new dimension. DIt's (xx0232@1)like someone put an eye chart on the wall in front of me, GAnd (320003@1)the top five letters say I-C-G-O-D. C (x32010@1) GThank (320003@1)you Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed. I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical, C (x32010@1) C7It's (x32310@1)simply that His interests aren't particularly broad. FHe's (133211@1)largely undiverted by the starving masses, COr (x32010@1)the inequality between the various classes. DHe (xx0232@1)gives out strictly limited passes, GRedeemable (320003@1)for surgery or two-for-one glasses. Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 I feel so shocking for historically mocking. Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 No, your interests are clearly confined to the ocular. F (133211@1) CI (x32010@1)bet given the chance you'd eschew the divine, D (xx0232@1) GAnd (320003@1)start a little business selling contacts online. C (x32010@1) GFuck (320003@1)me Sam, what are the odds that of history's endless parade of gods, C (x32010@1) C7That (x32310@1)the god that you just happen to be taught to believe in is the actual one and he digs on healing, F (133211@1) CBut (x32010@1)not the AIDS-ridden African nations, or the victims of the plague, or the flood-addled Asians, D (xx0232@1) GBut (320003@1)healthy, privately-insured Australians, with common and curable corneal degeneration? Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 This story of Sam's has but a single explanation: Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 A surgical god who digs on magic operations. Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 No it couldn't be mistaken attribution of causation, Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 Born of a coincidental temporal correlation, Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 Exacerbated by a general lack of education, Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 Vis-a-vis physics in Sam's parish congregation. F (133211@1) CAnd (x32010@1)it couldn't be that all these pious people are liars. F (133211@1) CIt (x32010@1)couldn't be an artifact of confirmation bias. FA (133211@1)product of group-think, Cdim7 A mass delusion, G (320003@1) Fdim7 An Emperor's-New-Clothes-style fear of exclusion. Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 No it's more likely to be an all-powerful magician, Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 Than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition, Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission, Am (x02210@1) Fdim7 Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician. F (133211@1) CNo, (x32010@1)the only explanation for Sam's mum seeing: F (133211@1) CThey (x32010@1)prayed to an all-knowing super-being. F (133211@1) Cdim7 To the omnipresent master of the universe, G (320003@1) Fdim7 And he liked the sound of their muttered verse. Am (x02210@1) GSo (320003@1)for a bit of a change from his usual stunt, F (133211@1) EmOf (022000@1)being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt, F (133211@1) EmHe (022000@1)popped down to Dandenong and just like that, F (133211@1) Cdim7 Used his powers to heal the cataracts, G (320003@1) AbOf (xx1114@1)Sam's mum. AOf (x02220@1)Sam's mum. -KEY CHANGE- D (xx0232@1) AThank (x02220@1)you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum. I didn't realise that it was such a simple thing. DI (xx0232@1)feel such a ding-a-ling, what an ignorant scum. GNow (320003@1)I understand how prayer can work, DA (xx0232@1)particular prayer in a particular church, GIn (320003@1)a particular style, with the particular stuff, DAnd (xx0232@1)for particular problems that aren't particularly tough, GAnd (320003@1)for particular people, preferably white, DAnd (xx0232@1)for particular senses, preferably sight, GA (320003@1)particular prayer in a particular spot, Fdim7 To a particular version of a particular god. AAnd (x02220@1)if you get that right, he just might, GTake (320003@1)a break from giving babies malaria, DAnd (xx0232@1)pop down to your local area, E (022100@1) A (x02220@1) DTo (xx0232@1)fix the cataracts of your mum. A (x02220@1) DHallelujah! (xx0232@1)