C G My uncle Charlie is a cynical man C G And his wife's a touch sceptical too C G They've got one of those stickers in the back of their van C G It says "We've seen the prices at the zoo" C G Well today I knocked upon their door and said that I was passing C G And Charlie launched a scathing attack C G When I asked him what I'd done he said "You stupid bastard C G C G C G We live in a cul-de-sac". C G Went to Dali's party it was fancy dress C G I just stuck an apple in my face C G I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress C G Reckoned he beat Gagarin in to space C G C G He said "Hi there Salv, like sorry I'm late C G C G But I was getting done up as a Mogul Thrash Acetate" C G C G Me I got bored, so I went home C G C G Got into bed and came to the conclusion: G C There is nothing better in life D C D G Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro, G C There is nothing better in life D C D G Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro, G C There is nothing better in life D C D G Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro, G C There is nothing better in life D C D C Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro D D7 G On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub.