Stunned to find not a single Jake Thackray ballad here. If you've not heard any of Jake's work then I strongly suggest you check him out on Youtube and read his bio at www.jakethackray.com A true wordsmith in idiosyncratic English humour. The Lodger ? Jake Thackray Am E My landlady had three lovely daughters. E Am They used to come and make my bed each day Am E They used to come and clean my living quarters, E Am But their mother made quite sure they didn't stay. F There was Mary: she seemed chary; C E There was Helen: she seemed well and truly sceptical Am about my qualities; F C There was Julie: she was truly well-proportioned, but her E Am Caution Brought exhaustion on my aching arteries. Am E But I was wrong: they weren't at all impervious E Am To the possibilities of high romance - Am E And I sensed a certain girlish nerviness E Am In the way they folded my pyjama pants. F And I was right, for late one night C Sweet little Mary, like a fairy, E Am As I lay sleeping, came a-creeping to my side. F C She was mine: it was divine - but we were doomed, for very soon E Am Into the room came sister Helen, and she cried: A D E A "Mary, go to bed!" Off Mary went. A D E A "Now, young man," Helen said, "for your punishment, A D E A "We mustn't have a fight, we mustn't make a row: A D E Am "Turn off the light - it's my turn now!" Am E Well, after all, I'm young and relatively vigorous, E Am And though I still protest my innocence, Am E By temperament I'm strictly un-polygamous, E Am And if I sinned, I sinned in self-defence. F C Nevertheless I must confess I wouldn't miss that E Am sort of bliss And when it ended I was rendered comatose. F C When, loud and clear, very near, in my ear a loud E Am voice spoke And I was awoken from my post-coital doze. A D E A "Helen, go to bed!" Helen went away. A D E A "Now, young man," Julie said, "you will have to pay! A D E A "You've blighted Helen's charms, filched her purity. A D E Am "Open up your arms - come and filch me!" Am E I was amazed, and really rather tired; E Am I thought I'd given all that I could give. Am E A little kip was all that I desired, E Am But I'm British, so my upper lip was stiff. F C She was chaotic, idiotic, quite exotic and ecstatic, E Am Acrobatic and emphatically fine. F C All to no good, for when I could open my eyes, to my E Am surprise I found her mother looking into mine. A D E A "Julie, go to bed!" Julie left the scene. A D E A "Now listen, Ma," I said, "I know the old routine. A D E A "I'll do what you like, but I shall be vexed A D E Am "And I'll bloody well go on strike if Grandma's next!" Listen to the recording on youtube it's a nice simple tune and fun to play for friends. This is my first attempt so any comments or corrections welcome. cheers BigMick