------------------------------------ 117% Complete - Alex Day ------------------------------------ 1. Sonic Doesn't Need A Story Verse: G#m, F#m, E, D Bridge: E, B, C#m, A (F# at the end) Chorus: B, F#, E, F# Intro/Outro: B June 23rd 1991 Let loose, I knew you were born to run Six zones, one boss, it was all I needed Dashing, ring collecting, unimpeded But now you're everything from half a werewolf to a race car driver You've lost some weight and your eyes are greener than I recall And as I understand there was a game where you became King Arthur Bring back the days when playing Sonic was still cool Keep your princesses cos Sonic doesn't need a story He runs fast and gets rings and loop-de-loops his way into your heart Sega, learn from your mistakes Now it's time to sit down and leave out the cutscenes cos we don't care anymore We accepted Tails and Knuckles too Flickies took some time but they were cute Chaotix started to push my patience Amy Rose was an abomination His name could be Robotnik, but it could be Eggman, what's it matter As long as he still has that flying egg machine Don't let me play as him or tell me more about his dead grandfather Just swing his marble ball and chain across the screen Keep your Olympic games cos Sonic doesn't need a story He runs fast and gets rings and loop-de-loops his way into your heart Sega, learn from your mistakes Now it's time to sit down and leave out the cutscenes cos we don't care anymore Don't want Silver Don't want Dark Gaia Don't want Rouge the bat Don't want Blaze the cat Don't want Shadow Don't want Shadow Don't want Shadow Don't want Shadow Hover skates are not the same as running at the speed of sound Hover skates are not the same as running at the speed of sound ------------------------------------ 2. I Hate Mario Kart Wii Verse: Am, F, C, Em Bridge: Dm Chorus: Same as verse I feel so confident right now As my friends all ask me how they throw an item or utilise the drift My character of choice is Yoshi He can be good off-road but mostly I play him cos he's cute, I'll admit The race starts ? and I stalled! I stalled the car again I held A down a bit too early And all my mates are laughing as they drive right past me And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii And now I'm stuck in 12th place I'm gonna lose this race; trailing in Donkey Kong's tyre tracks So I get a power-up I don't expect too much, but oh my god, Bullet Bill ? now I'm back! In first place in no time And my mates can't see why Nintendo would make a game that's so unfair They're feeling pretty angry, but I'm just princess peachy I'm winning so I don't really care But someone gets a blue shell! And I crash The kart flips over again Why don't they put a wall there!? Nothing I could do but watch it roll into the sea And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii I'm still in the lead But they're catching up to me I'll get a power-up and I'll be fine Another banana skin Upside-down boxes wearing thin I think I had more fun when I was behind This is the only game I've played Where winning just feels lame And losing is where all the fun takes place And there are no red shells for me All I have is apathy for this never-ending, three-lap funless race The game ends ? AND I'M SECOND! I lost the race again How did he get Invincibility!? Fucking Waluigi stole my victory And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii Everybody sing! ------------------------------------ 3. Pokemon, What Happened to You Verse: D, Em, G, A Bridge: G, D, A I remember when there were only 150 of you Well, technically 151 if you are counting Mew, but I digress I guess I spent the best years of my little life Surfing Cinnabar Island to get 126 Revives And I miss the Pokémon Center I miss its music too And the way that Snorlax looked like Lapras on water Pokémon, what happened to you? In the old days, you only got one form of every kind I could name all the Gym Leaders, didn't even have to try But now you've shown me Team Galactic and Dark and Steel and eggs Oh I want my Red and Blue back when Ditto wasn't used for sex I miss the cycling road, don't you know I miss the music too And I can't believe you used to be in black and white Pokémon, what happened to you Now Legendary means nothing to me Because one-of-a-kind creatures add up to over thirty And I only want three choices for my Eevee I don't want a rival if his name is not Gary And how the hell do you pronounce Sweecoon, Sooisine, Sweesign, Sooisoon, I don't know I miss holding down the B button when I thought it made it easier I miss surfing to the truck and using Strength to try and move it I miss watching my Charmander evolve into a Charmeleon I don't accept your Leaf Green, they'll always be Red and Blue to me Yesterday I dreamt I was surrounded by Unown The spelled the words "I'm sorry on behalf of Nintendo We don't get Poffins either, and SuperContests are so-so And the Pokédex was fine, it didn't need a radio" I miss the Team Rocket hideout And I miss the music too And why have shinies if they're so impossible to find Pokémon, what happened to you Pokémon, what happened to you And I'll never again experience that joy of mine Because you are incompatible with my brand new DSi ------------------------------------