Eb                Eb/D             C              Ab    Bb
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy
    Eb             Eb/D
And when I see how sad you are
   C#                 C  
It sort of makes me...Happy!
F             Bb     
Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
Eb      D     C#   C 
Nothing I can do!
       Ab     Bb 
It's...Schadenfreude!
Ab        A     Bb                Eb   
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.
 
Well that's not very nice, Gary!
                              Bb        C#
I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!

Eb                   Eb/D               C               Ab      Bb
You ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?
    Eb                    Eb/D           C#               C  
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?
F                     Bb
And don't ya feel all warm and cozy,
Eb              D          C#   C
Watching people out in the rain!
         Ab     Bb 
That's...Schadenfreude!
Ab     A      Bb               Eb
People taking pleasure in your pain!

Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?

What's that, some kinda Nazi word?
Bb C#           Bb C#                 
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"
Bb C#
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!
E              Eb           C#                A     B
Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
   E                   Eb           D               C#
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!
F#           B             E               D         C#    
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"
        A      B
"No!!!" Schadenfreude!
A           Bb  B                      E      
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"
A
Straight-A students getting Bs
B
Exes getting STDs!
C#
Waking doormen from their naps!
A                         B 
Watching tourists reading maps!
A
Football players getting tackled!
B
CEOs getting shackled!
C#
Watching actors never reach
F#
The ending of their oscar speech!
F#     B 
Schadenfreude!
G      C
Schadenfreude!
F      Bb     C
Schadenfreude!
F      Bb     C
Schadenfreude!
    F                       F\E
The world needs people like you and me 
            D                 Bb   C   
who've been knocked around by fate.
       F                        E
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us,
    Eb                   D            
and that makes them feel great.
G            C             F  E      D
We provide a vital service to society!
            Bb     C    
You and me! Schadenfreude!
Bb                 C
Making the world a better place...
Bb                 C
Making the world a better place...
Bb                 C 
Making the world a better place...
F     E D 
To be!
Bb                         F(STRUM LIKE HELL, JUST FOR FUN!)
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!