A Simple Desultory Philippic 
(How I Was Lyndon Johnsoned Into Submission)

Words & music bu Paul Simon 1965

     |G            |Bb       |
I was Union Jacked, Kerouac'd
C            |Eb                  |
John Birched, stopped and searched
G                 |A7      C       |D    |
Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind
          |G          |Bb            |
 I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
C             |Eb             |
Communist 'cos I'm lefthanded:
G                   |A7              |G    |C Eb G|G |C Eb G|G | 
That's the hand they use, well, never mind!
         |G             |Bb          |
I've been Walt Disneyed, Dis Disleyed
C             |Eb             |
John Lennoned, Krishna Menoned
G             |A7          C      |D   |
Walter Brennan punched out Cassius Clay
     |G                   |Bb         
 I've heard the truth from Lenny Bruce
   |C                  |Eb           |
and all my wealth won't buy me health
G            |D            |G  |C Eb G|G |C Eb G|G | 
 So I smoke a pint of tea a day
         |                |F
 I knew a man his brain so small, 
  |                            |G   |
He couldn't think of nothin' at all.
                    |C 
He's not the same as you and me.
  |                   |F        |
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
            |G        |                           |C            |
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas,
              |
Whoever he is.
   |F               |G       |
The man ain't got no culture,
         |          |
But its alright, Ma,
                                     |C       |  |  |
It's just sumpthin' I learned over in England.
         |G            |Bb          |
I've been James Joyced, Rolls Royced
C             |Eb             |
Mick Jaggered, silver daggered
G                    |A7         |D    |
Andy Warhol won't you please come home?
         |G                |Bb             |
I've been mother, fathered, aunt and uncled
C                |Eb        |
Tom Wilsoned, Art Garfunkled
G               |A7             |G    |  |  |
Barry Kornfeld's mother's on the phone
G              |Bb        |
When in London, do as I do
C              |Eb            |
Find yourself a friendly haiku
G               |D             |G    |
 Go to sleep for ten or fifteen years