GUITAR MAN UPSTAIRS (Cooley / DBT) (Scene: a small apartment on the south side of Birmingham as a pissed off old man rants:) A D A I think I'm gonna call the Police, I hear something upstairs B E I know good and well there ain't nothing good going on up there D A D There's probably ten or more of them sittin' all around A E A Smokin' that stuff and drinkin' that hard liquor down A D A I've been living in this city since the day I was born B E I've seen good times come and go and I've seen bad times drag on D A D I've seen white and black folks alike get treated just like sin A E D A And every year or so I see a new truck load of white trash movin' in D A When I was sixteen I had a little trouble with the law He said "Boy come here" I said "Boy yourself B E I ain't done nothing wrong" D A D He grabbed me by the arm and He went upside my head A Nobody saw nothing E D A But I got a little spot where my hair ain't grown back yet I used to have me a woman and a pretty fine home But it took so much to keep them both going I was always out and gone I came home one afternoon to get me change of clothes Caught a quick walkin' slick talkin' guitar picker Headin' out my back door Now I'm proud to say I ain't never been no violent man But I'd sure be rotting in jail today if I'd had me a gun in my hand I went inside threw her clothes on the floor and laid a suitcase across the bed Not a word got spoke not a lick got throwed And my woman ain't come back yet Now I live in this building with the punks and the freaks And I don't do much of nothing except go to work, come home, and drink So guitar man you done picked the wrong damn place to stay I'm a feeble old man You're a young smart-ass And there's a law-man on his way