Off UK version of Here We Stand. Just follow the pattern for the rest of the verses. Enjoy. 

Jesus Stole My Baby

   A        G          A         G
Jesus stole my baby 
   A        G          A         G
Jesus stole my girl
   A        G          A         G
He took her away for an hour every sunday 
   C            D          E
And cut all of her beautiful curls

            A     G     D  (x4)
She was always easy seven days of the week
            A     G     D  (x2)
Now she's a bore and I've seen it before 
            C     D     E
She thinks it gives her some kind of mystique

       A     G     D  (x2)
Said that she just want's to save me 
       A     G     D  (x2)
Said you can't go on the way that you are
       A     G     D  (x2)
She chased all my friends, hurts my brain till it bends
       C     D     E
Hides my cigarettes and steals my guitar

E A D (x4)

           E     A     D (x3)
And it's a long time since she was mine, Pretending I am fine
           G     C     B
Another simple boy on the telephone line
           E     A     D (x3)
And though she is living here with me, I'm aching to be free
           G     C     B
She takes it all so god damn seriously


Well I've always been in love with her treasure
But she might as well be locked up in chains
When I ask she says no and I'm feeling so low 
I'm bursting from my feet to my brains

Now if I could only talk to this Jesus 
I'd tell him just how lonely I've been
I'd ask him to send home my baby again 
So she can see what kinda state I've been in

Jesus stole my baby
So maybe I should steal his
She used to be mine 
Now she's so dull and divine 
May not be nice but thats the way that it is

And I'm lost here among the clowns, Jesus men in gowns
All sandals and out of tune guitars
And she talks in terrified tones, of skeleton bones
Screaming through a mangled microphone

And it's a long time since she was mine, Pretending I am fine
Another simple boy on the telephone line
And though she is living here with me, I'm aching to be free
She takes it all so god damn seriously