I hope someone better than me can improve this.
The C -> B on "journal-oust" is very rough and needs improvement.
I think the C#m with the decending root sounds right, but I'm not sure.
Transcribing piano tunes on guitar is hard :(

asbestos_man_@hotmail.com

Song For Phil Daoust
by Tim Minchin


E                       Ab
This is a song for Phil Daoust:

           A                  C       B
occasional Guardian Newspaper journal-oust.

E                 Ab
I never ever ever mentioned your name,

       A                                 B
or the review that you wrote, when I was new to this game.

C#m                  C#m/C
But now the time has come,

             C#m/B                     C#m/Bb
I think I've dealt with my feelings at last.

  F#m
I really wanna forgive ya Phil,

       B                              A  B
yeah I wanna put the past in the past-a

          E                  Ab
Oh and as this is such a big tour,

  A                             C   B   
I thought I outta take the opportunity.

                 E                           Ab
'Cause there's a pretty good chance somebody out there will know you,

A                          B
Maybe they would pass on a message for me.

C#m                  C#m/C              C#m/B              C#m/Bb
Just wanna say, Phil Daoust, occasional Guardian Newspaper journal-oust,

          F#m
That it's been three years since you wrote it,

    Abm
and time is very healing.

      A
But I still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face

    B
and make your children watch while I force you to eat them.

A      B
Yeah I wanna make your children watch you eat your own face-meat.



E         B
Ding Dang Ding Dang Dong,

C#m        Abm
This is my Phil Doust Song,

A         E
Everybody sing along,

A
La la la la la la la,

  B                                E
I hope one of your family' members dies.

      B
Phil, Ding Dang Dong.

C#m                   Abm
I've written you this special song,

A                   E
to help you get the attention -

    A          B
you obviously, desperately lack.




And I know that you're a smart man,
and with such a fine mind, I guess it has to be hard-
To resist throwing narcissistic, intellectual tantrums in the supermarket isles of 
your self-regard.

Just wanna say, Phil Daoust, I know it must be really hard to be a journal-oust.
While a deadlines always looming, and the pressure to be entertaining.
So maybe you should quit and get a job that you'd be better at - like killing 
yourself, you fucking cunt.

Ding Dang Ding Dang Dong,
This is my Phil Doust Song,
Everybody sing along,
Tra la la la la la la,
I hope something you love catches on fire.
Phil, Ding Dang Dong.
I've written you this special song,
to show how far I've come along -
in my efforts to be more mature in the face of negative feedback.

You fucking poo-face.