Band: Woodbox Gang Album: Trashcan Americana Savage Wiener Dogs VERSE 1 D G A D A gang of savage wiener dogs terrorized Lester's home D G A D He wanted them to go away and leave his cats alone D G A D He could barely muster up the courage to go out and fetch his mail D G A D If his cats weren't declawed they could whip those wiener dog tails VERSE 2 One day as Lester was watching the gang a plan entered his mind He thought he could turn his kitties into super strength felines He could fashion for them Freddy Krueger gloves with razor nails And with their mighty jaws and fearsome claws they could whip those wiener dog tails VERSE 3 Lester went to his garage where his tools have hung for years He found a broken rake and a pair of rusty shears He went to work with a hacksaw and a file for the lawnmower blade His kitties watched and wondered at the awesome tools he made VERSE 4 First was spry young Fluffles he was eager for his wrath Lester placed the gloves on Fluffles and Fluffles he took a bath He licked his paw and wiped his ear the blood ran from his brain They all stood around the brave young soldier swearing his death wouldn't be in vain VERSE 5 Next was Madam Meow she was a proud and noble snuggler Lester placed the gloves on both her feet she scratched a hole right in her jugular They stood around the brave young soldiers who gave their lives to freedom from wieners There was one kitty left never was there a kitty meaner VERSE 6 His name was Jack the Bastard he never sat in Lester's Lap He lived on the roof and barked at cars he was never known to nap His eyes were green but they never blinked and they glowed in the dark Jack didn't seem all that concerned about wiener dogs in the yard VERSE 7 First he looked at Madam Meow and he looked at foolish Fluffles He looked at Lester and his tools Lester knew he was in trouble He swished his tail and growled a little then he leaped like an old bullfrog He chased Lester into the yard where he surrendered to the gang of wiener dogs VERSE 8 Then Jack walked out of the house carrying two cats all sliced up The wiener dogs they bowed their heads and they cried like pups Lester wanted to the thank old Jack for preventing his miserable doom But Jack he growled and ran to the roof and howled all night at the moon