TRANSCRIBED BY PAT 
G5                            E5 
I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV 
G5                            E5 
It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see 
C5                 A5 
I just lit some crazy ass shit 
C5                                                 D5 
that my friend overnight mailed to me 
( )                  G5             C5       D5 
I'm fucking wasted 
                        G5          C5        D5 
It's the best shit I ever tasted 
                                  G5            C5     D5 
I think they fucking laced it 
                                    G5            C5    D5 
Cause I'm so damn lambasted 

Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe 
I told him he better go easy with this shit but he didn't believe the hype 
He sparked three bows just to show he could take it 
Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked 

He's fucking wasted 
It's the best shit he ever tasted 
He's lost in fucking spaced-ed 
Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted 

Oh I spent the last two hours 
hiding under my bed 
Cause I looked in the garbage can 
and I think I saw my Uncle Louie's head 

I'm fucking wasted 

Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird's face 
The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place 
He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak 
He looked at the two of us and he started to speak 

I'm fucking wasted 
It's the best shit I've ever tasted 
My brain's been erased-ed 
Well fucking fried 

I'm sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat 
I wanted a pizza the bird said Pepperoni would be sweet 
Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe 
I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hell's up with you 

I'm fucking wasted 
It's the best shit I ever fucking tasted 
Oh fucking shit 

I'm way too baked 

P.S THANKS TO