[VERSE 1]
         F5              A5             D5             D5
I didn't mean it when I said I hope the cable in the elevator 
Bb5         Bb5          F5      C5
Snaps when you step on board

          A5             A5      D5                  D5
And I was joking when I said I hope you crack your head
        G5                  G5                C5    C5
And get mangled by the downstairs revolving door

          F5              A5               D5            D5
And I was kidding when I said I hope the number one-oh three bus
Bb5               Bb5             F5     C5
Hits and makes a pancake out of you

    D5    D5     A5     A5
I'm sorry,   I'm sorry
       Bb5            C5                  F5    C5
Isn't amazing what a woman in love will do?

[VERSE 2] (same as the last verse)
And I don't really want to see your taxi on the 59th street bridge
Flip over and crash through the rail
And I'd feel bad if at the airport you were mistaken for a local sex offender
Arrested, beaten up, and thrown in jail

And I really don't want to see you getting radiation poisonining from the
   metal detector
That all passengers on foreign and domestic flights must walk through
I'm sorry, forgive me
For all the mean things I said to you

[BRIDGE]
A5              A5             D5     D5
 You thought I didn't have a temper
   A5           A5               D5     D5
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise!
      A5                    A5          D5                        D5
But I really don't want to see you dismembered by the marijuana sniffing dogs 
       G5             G5                C5              C5
When a simple little nipping would suffice, would suffice

[VERSE 3] (again, same as the first one)
And I'm sorry that I said I hope the plane explodes in mid-air
As it carries you away from me
And I'm sorry that I said I hope you break both legs
On the mountain while you ski

And I'm sorry for all the nasty things I said about your mother
Even though we both know they're true
(it's different here at the end)
    D5    D5    A5       A5
I'm sorry,   forgive me
    D5            D5                A5             A5
I'm swallowing my pride I'd feel so guilty if you died
        Bb5         F5    -    C5      F5 - Bb5   F5
Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm still mad at you.