Capo 5 
Intro: C5 G5 A5 F5 X 2 
 
C5               G5 
I gave you a flower  
A5                       F5 
He gave you a whole bunch 
C5               G5 
He cut you a diamond 
A5                 F5 
I cut you your lunch 
 

C5                G5 
I wrote you a pamphlet  
A5                       F5 
He wrote her a whole book 
C5                       G5 
He paid them both to the movies  
A5               F5 
I stole you a look 
 
Chorus: 
             G5 E5 A5  
I cannot win  
F5                                    C5 G5 A5 F5 
Since the day we watched the move in 
 

C5 G5 A5 F5 
(like verse before) 

Another sick joke  

At my expense  

But you cant live your life  

With one eye over the fence 
 
So I wrote you this song 

Her wrote her an operatic medley 

He bought her a car  

I doubled you on my trendy??? 
 
I can't compete 

Since they moved to our street 
 
Solo 
C5 G5 A5 F5   X 4 
 

I candidly took you photo 

But it came out a blur 

In their hall hangs a portrait 

He had commissioned for her 
 
And on Valentine's Day 

What was I to do 

She got a ninety-verse sonnet  

I struggled with a haiku 
 
Makes me see red 

But I still couldn't wish them both dead 
 

C5 G5 A5 F5 
 
        C5 G5 A5 F5 
I'm gonna fail 
             C5 G5 A5 F5 
What if I fail 
            C5 G5 A5 F5 
He's gonna fail 
                     C5 G5 A5 F5 
He could possibly fail 
                     C5 G5 A5 F5 
He could possibly fail 
                 C5 G5 A5 F5   C5 
He's gonna fail