Dm Step right up Bb We bring to you the finest entertainment A7 And I am pleased to be your humble servant Dm A7 Accept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality Dm Step right up Bb We've something here for everyone's enjoyment A7 I do this as a gift, not for employment Dm A7 A portrait of insanity, approached with pure humanity D A Come see our girls, crazy girls D/F# D7 A If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride Em B5 Those girls, crazy girls D A7 D7 They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal D A Tickets cheap, it's a crime D/F# D7 A And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime Em A7 D To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time Em A7 D Come see the girls, girls, girls D E7 Some of them are really quite attractive as you see A7 D Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree Em A7 D While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me E A7 But you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule D E7 You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye A7 D And that one, let's just keep walking by Em A7 D These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply Em A7 D Grab another cup of tea, and follow me D A To see our girls, crazy girls D/F# D7 A If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride Em B5 Those girls, crazy girls D A7 D7 They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal D A Tickets cheap, it's a crime D/F# D7 A And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime Em A7 D To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time Em A7 D Come see the girls, girls, girls D E7 Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide E A7 D7 For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide. Quiet down! You, sir? D E7 If insanity's primarily a femininish malady, A7 D And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact, Em A7 D Then according to the medics, are they faultier genetics? E A7 Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract? D E7 It?s all to do with reproductive organs A7 D Which are naturally unstable in a dame Em A7 D You see, from lunar we have lunacy and lunatic and loony E A7 And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony D I have a question (shoot!) E7 Has any patient ever been released A7 D Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease? Em A7 D For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce E A7 So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose D A Come see the girls, crazy girls D/F# D7 A If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride Em B5 Those girls, crazy girls D A7 D7 They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal D A Tickets cheap, it's a crime D/F# D7 A And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime Em A7 D To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time Em A7 D Come see the girls, girls, girls Some are born mad Some achieve madness Some have madness thrust upon them This is the real thing my friends, 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill Except no imitations For a little extra on the side, you can arrange For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates We've got pills for depression, obsession, agression, possession, indiscretion, But there's a bloody pill for everything nowadays A How big is a lady's brain? Em E7 D7 It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain Em This seems just a bit inhumane E E7 D7 It's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain D E7 They're really more like animals than people A7 D Which, as we've proven, haven't any souls at all. Em A7 D The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior E A7 And these are only useful in a seedy music hall D E7 They don't bite, well they might A7 D I say this one does look hungry tonight Em A7 So get your picture with an inmate D But be sure she's locked up tight E They're practically wild sir A7 Protect your child sir D E7 They don't recall the taste of freedom A7 D They're just happy if we feed them Em A7 So point and laugh, it isn't bad D They oughtn't mind because they're mad! E A7 If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls You're welcome to enjoy D A Our girls, crazy girls D/F# D7 A If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride Em B5 Those girls, crazy girls D A7 D7 They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal D A Tickets cheap, it's a crime D/F# D7 A And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime Em A7 D To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time Em A7 D Come see the girls, girls, girls Em A7 D I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme Em A7 D So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut Em A7 Your corsets tight, your morals high D Your knitting neat, your yappers shut Em A7 This is what comes of over-educating, D Em mentally over-stimulating, A7 too much serious conversating, D Em organized religion-hating, A7 sinful over-copulating, D Em marriage without procreating, A7 girl-on-girl caught lesbiating, D Em she was caught while masturbating, A7 they all mind manipulating, D Em chronically hallucinating, A7 certainly there's no debating, D Em some we just find fascinating, A7 women's rights facilitating, D Em independent thought creating, A7 she just may be complicating, D D7 get your money out, we're waiting To see those Em Girls! A7 Girls! D Girls!