Intro:

A5 G5 F5 A5 G5 F5 C5 F5 G5 A5 A5 G5 F5

(-sidenote- The intro is the exact same chord progression as all the verses.
  If you get the intro down then you know almost the entire song.)


Verse 1:

   A5         G5
Oh hello Evil Lady
F5
at the grocery store 
   A5                   G5
it seems that you don't know
         F5
what the express lane's for
        C5               F5
It says twelve items or less
           G5                  A5
But you're exempt from that I guess
        A5         G5               F5
And you started an arguement about coupons

Verse 2:

    A5                 G5
Oh, don't make me kill you
F5
over twenty five cents
     A5                 G5
I'll give you a freakin quarter
      F5
if it makes that much difference
        C5                         F5
And you just remembered something you forgot to get
     G5                   A5
Your husband'll be right back with it
A5    G5
OK... that's it,
          F5
I'm gonna kill you

Chorus 1:

     A5        G5
Yeah I'm gonna kill you
    F5                   A5
and possibly your whole family too
A5                 G5
All I want is some courtesy
     F5                     A5
some kindness and maybe an apology
       A5                  F5                   
If you don't get out of my grocery line
        G5                       A5
I'll do scorpion's fatality and rip out your spine
    A5                      G5
I'm usually a very peaceful person
              F5
but I'm gonna kill you

Verse 3:

  A5           G5         F5
I just wrote a note to a guy down the street
    A5       G5             F5
who recently invested in a giant SUV
           C5                        F5
it said "I hope you know that we're fightin' a war
           G5                              A5
so you can get your fat ass home from the grocery store
      A5              G5                F5
You'd better trade it in, or I'm gonna kill you"

Chorus 2:

     A5        G5
Yeah I'm gonna kill you
       F5                A5
with a car bomb in your H2
  A5                  G5
I don't think it'd be too much to ask
    F5               A5
for you to be a bit less of an ass
  A5                        F5
I suggest you reinvest in a Honda Fit
       G5             A5
If you don't, you're gonna regret it
    A5                      G5
I'm usually a very peaceful person,
              F5
but I'm gonna kill you

Verse 4:

     A5    G5        F5
It's 3:00 AM and my neighbor upstairs
   A5       G5             F5
is actually worse than my worst nightmares
   C5                F5
He had some friends over
         G5              A5
for some late-night Red Rover
A5        G5                         F5
And now...yeah...they're practicing tap dance

Chorus 3:

     A5        G5     
Yeah I'm gonna kill you
    F5                 A5
and all your loud-ass friends too
  A5                  G5
I don't think it'd be too much to ask
    F5               A5
for you to be a bit less of an ass
     A5             F5
If I don't get some peace and quiet
     G5            A5
I'll put you on a strychnine diet
    A5                      G5
I'm usually a very peaceful person
              F5
but I'm gonna kill you.

Outro:

(Repeat the chord progression in the Chorus section and end on Am.)

(Repeat the chord progression from the verse)