A5 A5
A5
I can see it in your eyes girl
            C#5
That you're in the mood for love
     F#5
So I light some candles, pour some wine
 D5                  E5
Come sit down on the rug

A5
But there's something I must tell you, babe
C#5
Before we take this step
F#5
Something about me girl
   D5                E5
That you do not know yet

A5                A5
I have no penis

It was torn off
            D5
In a bicycle accident
                 A5
In nineteen ninety nine
               E5 
I also lost one testicle
                         D5
So all I have is a weird uni-ball
                           A5
And a rubber tube, between my legs
E5                                  A5
But babe, I can love you in different ways

A5 A5
 A5
I'll make love to you with the rubber tube
       C#5
That I use for urinating
        F#5
I'll just tape to Popsicle sticks around it
D5                        E5
Make it easier for penetrating

A5
And having only one ball
      C#5
Isn't always a bad thing
           F#5
It's like a pool ball in a pillow case
            D5               E5
It's like a cherry on a sundae


'Cause girl 
          A5
I have no penis
       A5
I have no cock
                  D5
If it looks like I have a ball
                             A5
Just 'cause I stuff it with a sock
                   E5
Girl, I know that you're afraid
                       D5
But I promise, baby, if you stay
                               A5
That I'll put a cucumber in the microwave
    E5
And babe, I will love you in different...
AAADDAAADD
... ways

A5
Just because I don't have cock
D5                 A5
It doesn't mean I can't rock
A5
Just because I don't have cock
A5                       D5
It doesn't mean I can't rock
D5          A5
O-o-oh yeah

m