Key: E

Tuning: Standard EADGBe



Intro: 
E - Ab - C#m - D - A - F - F# - B
E - Ab - C#m - B - A - B - E--


Verse 1:
E    Ab C#m        B           A
  Hello    welcome to the show Thought
   Abm      F#m    B E       Ab
we broke up years ago What's up
C#m       B             A       B
   I just shit my pants Gambled and
  E   E     Ab   C#m          B
I lost Good times   just blew out
             A      Abm
my knee I've fallen and I 
F#m       B E   Ab
can't get up Oh shit
C#m          B
   I think I broke my 
     A           B    Ab
back Where's the wheelchair? 


Chorus 1:
    C#m       A Ab
I'm old school 
    C#m       A Ab
I'm played out
E
  Osteoporosis
Ab
  glaucoma and neurosis 
A
  The vultures circling 
 B
above our balding heads 


Verse 2:
E        Ab   C#m
  Second verse   the 
    B
same as the first 
A    Abm     F#m
I forgot the words 
 B   E   Ab C#m          B
again Railer   lost my inhaler 
A              B            E
  Who's got a smoke for the Caper? 
E      Ab C#m       B              A Abm F#m B
  Hold on    let me catch my breath 
E     Ab   C#m       B
  All right   I feel better 
    A       B      Ab
now Take it to the bridge 


Brdige:
A               E   C#m
  I'll never be Ozzy   On 
               B    A          E
stage when I'm fifty I'm gonna look 
          Ab                A
like Elvis  By the time I'm forty 
A               E    C#m
  We're already bogus   We're already 
B     A            E
fading We'll never be The 
         Ab
Rolling Stones I'm staying home 


Chorus 2:

C#m--A-G#- x2

E                    Ab
  Dementia and senility My failing 
            A
muscles atrophy I've lost all
     B
ability Falling apart


Interlude:
E - Ab - C#m - D - A - F - F# - B
E-G#-C#m-B7-A-B-E--


Outro:
E      Ab  C#m      B
  Blue hair   brown teeth 
A         Abm   F#m  B
  Failing livers   defeat 
E       Ab      C#m    F#m
  Maybe we will try to pull 
   A        F#m    E   E(hold)
it off For another year