INTRO: F5 - C5 

C5                   
Well when I was a kid I'd take a trip 
D5 
Every summer down to Mississipp' 
F5                          G5          C5 
To visit my granny and her antebellum world 
C5 
I'd run barefooted all day long 
D5 
Climbin' trees free as a song 
F5                     G5              C5 
One day I happened to catch myself a squirrel 
F5 
Well I stuffed him down in an old shoe box 
C5 
And punched a couple of holes in the top 
D5                                     G5 
And when sunday came I snuck him into church 
C5 
I was sittin' way back in the very last pew 
D5 
Showin' him to my good buddy hugh 
F5                                G5            C5 
When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk 
A5 
Well what happened next is hard to tell 
A5 
Some thought it was Heaven others thought it was Hell 
A5 
But the fact that something was among us was plain to see 
A5 
As the choir sang "I surrender all" 
A5 
The squirrel ran up Harve Newman's cover-alls 
A5 
And Harve leaped to his feet and said 
A5                         G5 
"Something's got a hold on me" YEOW!!  
 
CHORUS 
     hold        C5 
     The day the squirrel went berserk 
     D5 
     In the First Self Righteous Church 
     F5                     G5            C5 
     In that sleepy little town of Pastagoola 

(Pastagoola) 
     C5 
     It was a fight for survival 
     D5 
     That broke out in revival 
     F5                          G5             C5 
     They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' hallelujah 

(halleluja) 
 

C5 
Well Harve hit the aisles a-dancin' and screamin' 
D5 
Some thought he had religion others thought he had a demon 
F5                               G5                  C5 
And Harve thought he had a weed eater loose in his fruit of the looms 
C5 
He fell to his knees to plead and beg 
D5 
And the squirrel ran out of his britches leg 
F5                 G5                 C5 
Unobserved to the other side of the room 
F5 
All the way down to the Amen pew 
C5 
Where sat Sister Bertha-Better-Than-You 
D5                                                   G5 
Who'd been watching all the commotion with sadistic glee 
C5 
Well you should'a seen the look in her eyes 
D5 
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs 
F5                                G5                  C5 
She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me" 
A5 
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress 
A5 
She began to cry and then to confess 
A5 
To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame 
A5 
She told of gossip and church disention 
A5 
But the thing that got the most attention 
A5 
Was when she talked about her love life 
A5                          G5 
And then she started namin' names 
 
 
C5 
Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved 
D5 
And twenty five thousand dollars got raised 
F5                         G5               C5 
And fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo - on the spot 
C5 
And even without an invitation 
D5 
There were at least five hundred re-dedications 
F5                 G5                                C5   
And we all got re-baptised whether we needed it or not 
F5 
Now you've heard the Bible story I guess 
C5 
How he parted the waters for Moses to pass 
D5                                           G5 
Oh the miracles God has wrought in this old world 
C5 
But the one I'll remember 'til my dying day 
D5 
Is how he put that church back on the narrow way 
F5                  G5           C5 
With a half crazed Mississippi squirrel