D5 A5 D5 My father came here from his home in Ireland, G5 D5 A5 He was quiet but they said that he was wise. D5 D5 G5 E5 He and Mother did their best, gave us a home and all the rest, E5 A5 But to talk to us he never had the time. D5 A5 D5 Sure, he'd say "Pass the butter." or, "Come here young man." G5 D5 A5 Or, "Keep quiet." or, "No you can't have a dime." D5 D5 G5 E5 Until the day when I was leavin' when Dad finally found a reason E5 A5 For sharing his philosophy of life... D5 A5 D5 He said: "A monkey fart should smell like a banana, G5 D5 A5 English farts should smell like cups of tea; D5 D5 G5 E5 The farting of a fairy should be very light and airy, E5 A5 When a father farts I hope you'll think of me. D5 A5 D5 An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter, G5 D5 A5 It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well, D5 D5 G5 E5 A lion's fart should roar with power, cuckoos should fart every hour, E5 A5 A nun's fart should have meaning but no smell; D5 A5 D5 A strong man's fart should sound out like a trumpet, G5 D5 A5 A pretty girl's should barely even squeak, D5 D5 G5 E5 But the person you can trust is the one who'd rather bust E5 A5 Than ever let one rip right on the street..." D5 A5 D5 Well, from my old man this really was an earful, G5 D5 A5 I tried to understand just what he meant; D5 D5 G5 E5 His words were primitive but strong so I wouldn't get them wrong, E5 A5 He was saying to be careful as I went. D5 A5 D5 He was saying to be happy as I could be, G5 D5 A5 He was saying watch my step and as I pass, D5 D5 G5 E5 To beware who I look up to, and whatever else I might do, E5 (Hold) A5 Know that most of what you get from folks is just escaping gas... D5 A5 D5 He said: "A monkey fart should smell like a banana, G5 D5 A5 English farts should smell like cups of tea; D5 D5 G5 E5 The farting of a fairy should be very light and airy, E5 A5 When a father farts I hope you'll think of me. D5 A5 D5 An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter, G5 D5 A5 It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well, D5 D5 G5 E5 A lion's fart should roar with power, cuckoos should fart every hour, E5 A5 A nun's fart should have meaning but no smell; D5 A5 D5 A strong man's fart should sound out like a trumpet, G5 D5 A5 A pretty girl's should barely even squeak, D5 D5 G5 E5 But the person you can trust is the one who'd rather bust E5 A5 D5 Than ever let one rip right on the street..."