As always, Cardiacs song structure is generally mindbending and really difficult 
to tab up or chord-up as i have tried here. I am pretty sure what i have done is 
accurate, but the piece with the little girl singing " I will tear the secret..." 
etc might not be 100% but seems to fit quite well.
Please, if you find out the exact chords for this, update this as you wish :)

I tried my best to sit the chord changes exactly over the part of the word that 
Tim sings at that moment, to help, but sometimes the webpage will re-arrange 
everything and sit chords willy-nilly over the top of the text, so i hope it's as i wrote !

The chords at the end of each verse, sound better if used as a part-chord 
shape, as it were. G(E3,A2,D0) - G/F#(E2,A2,D0) - E(E0,A2,D2,G1)

Have fun, should be easy to play through this one :)


intro chords

A, G, C, A, 
E, C, A, G,
C, A, E, C


A         G
Don't do anything just stand there

C                      A              E
Holding the light with man and boy shakin' all hands

   G      C     E                G   G/F#   E   G   G/f#   E 
If I were a bad dog you'd all be dead....



A              G      
Six big strong boys from the land 

C                     A         E
Chewed off a piece of Mary Magdalenes arms

G           C            E                 G  G/F#   E   G  G/f#   E  
While guard-ians wailed 'Oh for shame! For shame!'


G      A F      Bb D     B    F#   D   E  F#
I will tear the se--cret from your ar.....ms

middle instrumental bit (chords)

A, G, C, A, 
E, C, A, G,
C, A, E, C

A             G
And come boys out from the hat!

C                 A
I cannot see your feet!

           E
Come on my lucky lads!

G         C       E         G  G/F#   E   G  G/f#   E
You don't want to live forev-er!....

A                G                    C     
As I live and breathe as'if in danger or as if in doubt

A               E
(Ran in circles screaming 'SHOU(t)!')

G         C     E                G  G/F#   E   G  G/f#   E 
If I were a bad dog you'd all be dead...



G     A F     Bb      D    B    F#  E  F#
(Crucified) I thought you  were de.....ad