A
e | -------------------------- | 
B | -------------------------- | 
G | --2--2-------------------- | 
D | --0--0--------5--5--4--2-- | 
A | --------3--4-------------- | 
E | -------------------------- | 

Intro: A5 , D5 , A5 , E5 , F#5 , A5 (W/ riff)
Verse 1:
A5 (W/ riff)
I don't wanna leave, Bernardette,

but I don't wanna live with the jet set.

I don't wanna leave, with you paying all my debts,

with that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get,

Chorus:
E5    D5                    F#5   E5  D5
Ooh, Bernardette, you are so expensive,
E5                         D5                   
you've never done a day's work in your life,
            F#5   E5  D5
you've got, no incentive.
       E5                     D5
You've made a career, out of punting off all the
F#5               E5     D5
men, that you've slept with
E5    D5                    F#5   E5  D5
Ooh, Bernardette, you are so expensive,

Verse 2:
A5 (W/ riff)
I can't get a job, Bernardette,

so all that I can offer are a lot of bad debts.

If you marry me, Bernardette,

you'll lose the alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get,

Chorus:
E5    D5                    F#5   E5  D5
Ooh, Bernardette, you are so expensive,
E5                         D5                   
you've never done a day's work in your life,
            F#5   E5  D5
you've got, no incentive.
       E5                     D5
You've made a career, out of punting off all the
F#5               E5     D5
men, that you've slept with
E5    D5                    F#5   E5  D5
Ooh, Bernardette, you are so expensive,
A5 (W/ riff)
Ooh, Bernardette, Bernardette,

Ooh, Bernardette, Bernardette,

Sax Solo:
C5                                D5
Bernardette's got a house in the country,
E5                         D5
she's really got it made.
C5                              D5
Her lies made her filthy rich,
E5                              D5
she's got all expenses paid.

Middle8:
C5                    D5 E5                    D5
Maybe a famous rock star will fly you away,
C5                                         D5 E5                         D5
then you'll eat him all up, and spit him out, with a dash of Perrier.
C5                                             D5  E5                                   D5
And when you've had enough, you'll throw him away, and take him for all you can get,
C5                         D5 E5         
Yeah, you like it, don't you, Bernardette,

Verse 3:
A5 (W/ riff)
I don't wanna leave, Bernardette,

but I wanna keep a little bit of self respect.

I don't wanna leave with you paying all my debts,

with that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get,

Chorus:
E5    D5                    F#5   E5  D5
Ooh, Bernardette, you are so expensive,
E5                         D5                   
you've never done a day's work in your life,
            F#5   E5  D5
you've got, no incentive.
E5                     D5
Women like you oughta be locked up,
           F#5       E5   D5
for giving others a bad name
E5    D5                    F#5   E5  D5
Ooh, Bernardette, you are so expensive,
A5 (W/ riff)
Ooh, Bernardette, Bernardette,
Ooh, Bernardette,
I think you're sad.