Transcribed by Rob Intro: G5 Eb5 twice G5 Eb5 I know what you're all wondering G5 G5 Have Tripod ever been to Japan Eb5 But you're ignoring a much bigger question Bb5 Why don't the Japanese have a space program Eb5 Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts Bb5 F#5 Ab5 Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t C5 I'll tell you why you haven't seen one Eb5 I'll tell you why Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5 You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut F5 It's those damn fat gloves Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5 And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav F5 Cos the tea goes everywhere G5 The tea goes everywhere G5 Eb5 Japanese culture's always fanscinated me G5 From their traditions to their modern way of life Eb5 But all their elegance and rich history Bb5 Doesn't sit well with my interest in space Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5 Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut F5 It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible) Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5 And they don't let you use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut F5 You might puncture the suit G5 You might depressurize F5 G5 F#5 Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve Ab5 C#5 But it's those damn fat gloves F5 They're the main problem F#5 C#5 You can't nurture your tamagotchi F5 F#5 You can't make an origami swan Ab5 A5 Bb5 Eb5 Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle Eb5 C#5 Well I've tried and they don't let you F#5 Fucking NASA red tape Interlude: G5 Eb5 G5 Eb5 Bb5 Eb5 Bb5 Eb5 G5 Eb5 I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved G5 So I threw away my dreams of outer space Eb5 I had to find myself a whole new job Bb5 Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5 But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ F5 It's those damned fat gloves again Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5 Those confounded puffy mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed F5 I'm haunted by fat gloves Bb5 You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake F5 Or ride a Kawasaki Eb5 F#5 When you're an astronaut F#(let ring) Ab(let ring) And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele A#(let ring) Cos you're not enough of a red herring *************************************************************************** Capo 3rd fret version Intro: E5 C5 twice E5 C5 I know what you're all wondering E5 E5 Have Tripod ever been to Japan C5 But you're ignoring a much bigger question G5 Why don't the Japanese have a space program C5 Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts G5 Eb5 F5 Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t A5 I'll tell you why you haven't seen one C5 I'll tell you why G5 D5 C5 E5 You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut D5 It's those damn fat gloves G5 D5 C5 E5 And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav D5 Cos the tea goes everywhere E5 The tea goes everywhere Back to verse E5 C5 Japanese culture's always fanscinated me E5 From their traditions to their modern way of life C5 But all their elegance and rich history G5 Doesn't sit well with my interest in space G5 D5 C5 E5 Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut D5 It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible) G5 D5 C5 E5 And they don't let you(Ooooh) use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut D5 You might puncture the suit E5 You might depressurize D5 E5 Eb5 Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve F5 Bb5 But it's those damn fat gloves D5 They're the main problem Eb5 Bb5 You can't nurture your tamagotchi D5 Eb5 You can't make an origami swan F5 F#5 G5 C5 Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle C5 Bb5 Well I've tried and they don't let you Eb5 Fucking NASA red tape Interlude: E5 C5 E5 C5 G5 C5 G5 C5 E5 C5 I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved E5 So I threw away my dreams of outer space C5 I had to find myself a whole new job G5 Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place G5 D5 C5 E5 But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ D5 It's those damned fat gloves again G5 D5 C5 E5 Those confounded putty mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed D5 I'm haunted by fat gloves G5 You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake D5 Or ride a Kawasaki C5 Bb5 When you're an astronaut Bb(let ring) C(let ring) And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele G(let ring) Cos you're not enough of a red herri