Gatesy: Okay, there was Footloose, Pauline Hanson in gaol, alpacas, pickles, T-shirts with stupid phrases on them... Scod: Specifically, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me". Gatesy: Yeah, that's the one. And it's sort of a Beach Boys thing... more from the "pet sounds" era... Yon: Less than the "surf's up"... well, I dunno, "surf's up" is later... let's not get bogged down in Beach Boys history. Gatesy: And there's a little bit of Beastie Boys in there too. G5 G5 A5 E5 Tripod: If it is true that there's just six degrees of near, F5 C5 D5 Why am I so lonely? G5 A5 E5 I drift from town to town nomadically. F5 C5 D5 Gatesy: Nobody wants me, 'cause fame is so fickle, F5 C5 If this town's a burger, D5 (let ring) Tripod: Then I am the pickle. Scod: It's about Kevin Bacon, by the way. D5 G5 Yon: 'Cause I get thrown out of the town, G & S: Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh... D5 G5 Yon: Like the burger, you know, sliding down the... I'll leave that. G & S: Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh... C5 D5 Tripod: Such a shame that I got arrested, G5 G5 Gatesy: For wearing an obscene T-shirt. C5 D5 All it said was, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me", G5 G5 It's just 'cause my name is... C5 D5 Tripod: ... Kevin Baco___n, E5 C5 Kevin Baco____n. C5 D5 G5 It's a joke I'm maki_______n'... Gatesy: Bacon - pork... get it? G5 A5 E5 Tripod: But they didn't get it and I'm sittin' here in gaol, F5 C5 D5 Doin' the hand-spider movement. Yon: People who weren't at this gig will never get this joke... get over it. G5 A5 E5 Tripod: I had to bunk up with a former politician, F5 C5 D5 Gatesy: I use that term rather liberally. F5 C5 D5 Then Pauline busted some rhymes for me. Gatesy: (Rapping) You feelin' like you failed, Now ya sittin' in gaol, The only thing you have for a toilet is a pail. But Kevin, stop dancin' And listen to me, I'm Pauline Hanson, I'll get ya out of here, gotta listen to my plan, son. Yon: (Normally) Okay, so now she starts talking. Okay, so what there is is, right... Gatesy: Why have you stopped bustin' out the rhymes, man? Yon: 'Cause there's a lot of information in this next bit and I think it'll be a bit clearer if I... Gatesy: Okay, before you tell me that, can I just do another chorus? Yon: Yeah. C5 D5 Tripod: Kevin Bacon, E5 C5 Kevin Bacon. C5 D5 G5 It's a joke I'm makin'... Gatesy: Get it? Yon: No, no, I don't get it. Are you making fun of me? Gatesy: No, no, I'm not making fun of you, Pauline. Yon: 'Cause... 'cause I know what xenophobia is - it's making fun of the Chinese. Gatesy: No! Pauline... Pauline, tell me about that plan. Yon: Oh, yeah... Gatesy: About escaping, yeah? Yon: Yeah. Okay, so there's an alpaca, right? You know, you probably see him around - the gaol alpaca. Gatesy: Oh, the gaol alpaca! Yon: And I reckon if you can get him up to about 70 miles per hour, I reckon you can clear that fence. You know, Steve McQueen-like. Gatesy: Cool. Fantastic. Yon: That's basically it. G5 A5 E5 Tripod: So I jumped on the thing that looked just like a camel, F5 C5 D5 Mixed with a deer or a pony. G5 A5 E5 I rode off into the sunset with my alpaca, F5 C5 D5 I was no longer alone-y. D5 G5 Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh... D5 G5 Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh... C5 D5 It's such a shame that I got arrested, G5 E5 For wearing an obscene T-shirt. E5 D5 All it said was, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me", G5 Gatesy: It's just 'cause my name is... C5 D5 Tripod: ... Kevin Bacon, E5 C5 I'm not fakin', C5 D5 Gatesy: I'm making a statemen', G5 G5 G5 G5 C5 C5 G5 I'm Kevin Bacon!