I Made Linda Lovelace Gag
by David Allen Coe

Verses: G-C-D-G
Chorus: G-C-G-D  G-C-G-D-G


intro

Verse 1:

G
Well you can talk about your lovers and your back door pimps
C
You can talk about your hollywood fags
D
if you want to know the baddest motherfucker in the world
D                            G
then i'm the greatest lover alive


Verse 2:
G
Jackie Onassis was a snuff queen for me
C
before she ever got rich
D
and it would take the average man a day and a half
D                     G
just to satisfy that bitch

Verse 3:
G
why the queen of england, gave me the key
C
to the whole damn country of France
D                   D
and it only took me fifteen minutes
D                 G
to get in to her pants

Verse 4:
G
well i fucked them all, from coast to coast
C
cause honey, that's my bag
D                     D
in fact, i'm the only guy in the world
D                            G
that can make linda lovelace gag

Chorus

G
do do do do, do do do
      C
do do duh
          G
do do duh do duh do
         D
do do do do

             G
do do do do, do do do
      C
do do duh
G            D
do do duh do duh do
G
do do do do


Now it ain't that my dick is so god damn big
it's just that i know how to use it
and i never let no nickel dime whore
ever get the chance to abuse it

they can suck it for hours and hours on end
but i'll still be in control
and i won't come until i want to come
cause that's my jelly roll

now there ain't no woman that's no match for me
i've had them try to wear me down
i've fucked them barmaids and bank clerks
i even fucked a circus clown

teachers and lawyers, doctors and more
them fat women sure are greeeat
i'll tell you i'm the only motherfucker in the world
that can make linda lovelace gag

interlude

well ol' harry reams fell apart at the seams
when he saw me fuck that whore
she sucked my dick and swallowed my nuts
and i still hollared for more

she sucked my asshole, she sucked my toes
she's the suckingest bitch around
well i made her call up two more cunts
and man that ain't no jive

she don't give me no shit, about being no big time lover
or some movie star with a jag
cause you ain't shit, if you can't get
linda lovelace to gag

and don't talk about being no full time lover
cause mister that's my bag
i'm the only mother fucker in the damn world
that can make linda lovelace gag

chorus

solo to fade out