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(intros just the same chords for the verses: D, G, A)

D5
The A is for my authority
G5
Which many players seem to question,
A5
Thinking they're somehow going to make me change my mind
D5
B is for babies
G5
Which a lot of managers cry like
A5
After a decision has not gone their way
D5                                G5
C is for the continual criticism I recieve from the touchline
A5
Get back in your technical area!
D5
D is for the dunderheads
G5
Who seem to think we have a conspiracy
A5
Against their particular team
D5
E is for the eery silence that echoes around the ground
G5
After I've booked the home teams player
A5
And it's obvious to everyone that he deserved it
D5
F is the farce into which most games would descend if we werent there
G5
The G is for the gnarled face of someone whos on 90,000 a week
A5
And reckoned he should have had a throw in
D5
H is for handball
G5
Which has to be intentional and very rarely is
A5
If only people would study the rules more
D5
I is for innocence, pleaded by many a doe-eyed defender
G5
After they've just scythed down that tricky winger
A5
J is for ju-jitsu, which i quite intend to display given a dark alley
D5
And some of the narky blerts ive encountered
G5
K is for the kissing of the badge
A5
How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they're at another club
D5                     G5
L is for lip reading, at which you don't need to be an expert
A5
To see how odious some people are
D5
M is for the mistakes we sometimes make
G5                           A5
Surely a bit of controversy is part of the games appeal
D5                                    G5
The N, the N is for the numbskull who during the boxing day game
                  A5
Asks me what else i got for christmas besides my whistle
D5
An afternoon with your wife mate
D5
The O is for offside
G5                              A5
Which many forwards tell me they simply could not have been
D5
The P is for the penalty shootout
G5              A5
Great drama and no pressure on me
D5
Q is the quiet word i sometimes need to have
G5
With some of the more fiery participants
A5
I usually choose the word 'pleat'
D5
R is for running backwards
G5                             A5
A difficult skill which the pundits never seem to appreciate
D5                             G5
S is for the suggestion that i should have awarded a card of some sort
A5
To a player whos just been awarded a free kick
(mute the strings and strum )
Sorry i got all that wrong the S again
D5
Okay the S, the S is the suggestion that i should show a card to an opponent
G5
By a player whos been awarded a free kick
A5
He himself is more in danger of getting one for that
D5
T is for the 21 man brawl
G5                                   A5
Whiuch is basically an embarrassing scene of pushing and shoving
D5
U is for the umpire which i sometimes wish I'd been instead
G5                          A5
You never hear a cricket crowd shouting whos the bastard in the hat
D5                                       G5
The V is for vitriol vilification vendetta and volley of verbal abuse
A5
Some good bird noises there by the way
D5
W is for walter pidgeon
G5
Whos mr Griffiths in 'how green was my valley'
A5
I may have started to sound like during this song
D5
'where was the light i thought to see in your eye'
G5                          A5
He says that to a young huw played by roddy McDowall
D5
The X
G5
The X represents the sarcastic kiss planted on my forehead by the swarthy
A5
potugese center half

Whom i just dismissed
D5
The Y is for Yate
G5                   A5
The kind of town referees come from
D5
And the Z
G5                              A5
Well the Z could be for Zidane, Zico, Zola, Zubizaretta, Zoff

Even Zondervan
D5
But is in fact for the zest with which we approach our work
G5
Without this zest for the game we wouldn't become refs
A5
And without refs, well zero
D5
See also Zatopek, Zeus
G5
And Zeal Monachorum
D5
I have a caravan there
G5
Static naturally
A5          D5 etc...
(Wouldnt it be fun if the gave the ref a gun)

contiune the "D G A" until the end (although, if your like me when it comes to the end 
you just press play and start it all again)
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