Intro: C G C G C Verse 1: C G There's a place where you don't wanna be C G Where people die constantly C G And they never die in normal ways C G It's preposterous but still cliche Bridge 1: C G When your drug dealer's aunt kills your mom in a duel C NC By chopping off her head with a scythe in a pool D Well they're not saying it makes sense E They're just interpreting the evidence Chorus: C G This is the plot to every television crime show C C G From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store C G The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes C NC Will come back because you know he did it C G I don't think they're trying anymore C And I'm getting bored Verse 2: C G There was semen all over the crime scene C G So they use the super-fancy semen testing machine C G And the DNA database gets a hit C G But it looks like he might still get away with it Bridge 2: C G But the final piece of evidence C C Totally stumps the bad guy's defense D And he breaks down in front of everyone E And tells them exactly how it was done Chorus: C G This is the plot to every television crime show C C G From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store C G The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes C NC Will come back because you know he did it C G I don't think they're trying anymore C And I'm getting bored Interlude: C Verse 3: C G By the middle of the first season C G Murder is eclipsed by sexual tension C G And I guess that probably happens a lot C G Since crime-solving people are always so hot Bridge 3: C G But then a serial killer kidnaps the girl C C And they promise to save her if it costs them the world D And they find her two seconds before she dies E And they hug and they laugh and they screw and they cry Chorus: C G This is the plot to every television crime show C C G From CSI to Columbo and I think you know what's in store C G The guy we met in the first fifteen minutes C NC Will come back because you know he did it C G I don't think they're trying anymore C And I'm getting bored *End on C*
