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Can we please toast
Dm            G
To the motherfu*** douchebags, tonight
C                  Am          F

Do you know where to find marble conference tables?
C                         F                 C
I'm looking to have a conference... not until I get the table though.
Am                                  F                    C

Fur pillows... are hard to actually sleep on
Am             C           D        Am

Man... whatever happened to my antique fish tank?
Am                             G            Am

Classical music is tight, yo
F         G               C

I make awesome decisions in bike stores
C              F                 C

French fries are the devil...

Black is the new black
F     G      C   Am

I love mee!
G   C   G

That's it, enjoy
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