• Song:

    A History Lesson

  • Artist:

    Stephen Lynch

  • Album:

    3 Balloons

Stephen:
I have to do the vocals for Medieval Bush.
Friends:
Why?
Stephen:
Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff 
and the medieval period ended at the beginning 
of the 16th century.
Friends:
So thats 1500's.
Wait! So how do you know this?
Stephen:
Cause I used to be a teacher.
Friends:
(Laugh)You used to be a teacher?
Stephen:
Yes.
Friends:
Professor?
Stephen:
No, I taught elementary school and I got fired 
because I had an unorthodox way of teaching which 
is I would bring in my guitar and...
I never told you this?
Friends:
No!
Stephen:
I would bring in my guitar and I would sing the 
lessons to the children.
Friends:
Of course you did.
Stephen:
I am dead serious.
Friends:
Yes.
Stephen:
I am. Alright, alright hold on I'll give you one 
of the... Let me remember.
Alright here's one I remember, okay? 
This is Ben Franklin. 

Am   C   2x

Am                C
Ben Franklin went out one night,
Am                C
Tied a key to the end of a kite,
Am           C
Electricity struck so bright,
Dm                 Am (-> not sure about this one)
Write it down muthafuckas

Friends:
You called the kids motherfuckers?
Stephen:
Some of them were motherfuckers, yes.
Friends:
Science
Stephen:
Ummm... okay!

Am               C
Issac Newton sat under a tree,
Am                      C
An apple hit him in the head so he,
Am                    C
Said holy shit that's gravity,
Dm                    Am
Write it down muthafuckas

Stephen:
I have a million of these.
Friends:
Then why don't you do the pilgrims?
Stephen:
Okay... hey now and...

Am                C
Pilgrims raced against the clock,
Am           C
Looking for a place to dock,
Am                       C
They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock,
Dm                 Am
Write it down muthafuckas.

Friends:
I don't like the fact that you are implying that the 
pilgrims were lazy.
Stephen:
I'm not implying anything.
Friend:
Wright Brothers.
Oooh that's a good one.
Stephen:
Uh...

Am           C
A dude named Orville Wright,
Am                C
Told his bro lets invent flight,
Am                C
So Wilbur said "ight",
Dm                 Am
Write it down muthafuckas

Stephen:
Yes, yes Wilbur said "ight"
Friend:
Wilbur said "ight"?
Stephen:
In my story he did.
Friend:
Wilbur was street in your story?
Stephen:
That's right.
Friend:
Word.
Stephen:
See, you can't stump me
Friend:
Slavery?
Stephen:
Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well...

Am          C
Abe Lincoln lead the nation,
Am                C
Freed slaves form the plantation,
Am                 C
And made some mothafuckin' proclamation,
Dm               Am  
Write it down ananem-ops.

Friend:
Gandhi!
Stephen:
Uh... I did not have a Ghandi one. Uh... 
Alright hold on, hold on, hold on. 
Gandhi... Uh... alright.

(Slowly) 
Am        C
Gandhi is what you said,
Am             C
An Indian with a bald head,
Am               C
And he was a bit under fed,
Dm                 Am
Write is down muthafuckas!

Stephen:
See?! Yeah! Fired from that job!
Friend:
Your a genius.

--------------------------------------------------------------
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I think this is correct. If you don't think it sounds right, 
by all means correct me. :-)
Enjoy the song!
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