dear dar(lin') your mom (my friend) left a message on my machine she 
was 
frantic 
saying you were talking crazy that you wanted to do away with yourself 
I guess she thought I'd be a perfect resort because we've had this 
inexplicable connection since our youth and 
yes they're in shock they are panicked you and your chronic them and 
their 
drama 
you this embarrassment us in the middle of this delusion 
if we were our bodied 
if we were our futured 
if we were our defenses I'd be joining you 
if we were our culture 
if we were our leaders 
if we were our denials I'd be joining you 
I remember vividly a day years ago we were camping you knew more then 
you 
thought you should know 
you said "I don't want ever to be brainwashed" and you were 
mindboggling you 
were intense 
you were uncomfortable in your own skin you were thirsty but mostly 
you were 
beautiful 
If we were our nametags 
If we were our rejections 
If we were our outcomes I'd be joining you 
If we were our indignities 
If we were our successes 
If we were our emotions I'd be joining you 
You and I we're like 4 year olds we want to know why and how come 
about 
everything 
we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak our minds we never talk 
small 
and be intuitive 
and question mightily and find god my tortured beacon 
If we were their condemnations 
If we were their projections 
If we were our paranoias I'd be joining you 
If we were our incomes 
If we were our obsessions 
If we were our afflictions I'd be joining you 
we need reflection we need a really good memory feel free to call me a 
little 
more often