C                                     G
There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
                                 C    
He sat in the meadow just shaking his
                                      G  
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick

Their feet in the water, their hands on their
C                                       G
Marbles and play things at a half passed four

There came a young lady who looked like a
C
Pretty, young preacher
                  G
She sat on the grass, she pulled up her dress

And she showed them her
C                                  G
Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy duck
   
She said she was learning a new way to
C                                       G
Bring up her children, so they would not spit

While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
C                                  G     
Refuse, and litter from yesterday's hunt
                     
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
C                              G       
Eyes at the fellow, down by the dock

He looked like a man with a sizable
C                                        G  
Home in the country, with a big fence out front
                                           
If he asked her politely, she'd show him her
C                                 G     
Little pet dog, who was subject to fits

And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
C                                     G   
Small, tender hands with a movement so quick

And then she'd bend over and suck on his
C                             G     
Candy, so tasty made of butterscotch

And then he'd spread whip cream all over her
C                                   G    
Cookies that she had left out on her shelf

If you think this is dirty
               C         
You can go f*ck yourself!