E       
Once I read a book 
G
And this is what it said 
A                    E
If your music has a beat 
                             E
Then you're gonna wind up dead 
     E                                G
It doesn't really matter if it's Christian or not
        A                                     E
If it's syncopated rhythm then your soul is gonna rot 
               E                  G
And this book was called      "Ha! Your Gonna Burn" 
             A                         E
And in the second chapter      I went on to learn 


E       G
Take two houseplants 
    A              E
And put them to the test 
         E                    G
Set them both in front of speakers 
              A            E
And let the music do the rest
    E                  G
The first one you play Mozart
         A                E
Or something lovely like that 
    E                          G                    A           E
The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth.
                                                   E
Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is. 


      E                   G
So I took my two houseplants
           A            E
And I put them to the test 
         E                 G
Set them both in front of speakers 
           A              E
To let the music do the rest 
    E                G
I powered up my Pioneers 
    A              E
To let the music roar 
      E                G
But twenty minutes later 
          A              E
Someone's knocking at my door 


E
I opened up my door 
G
And there my neighbor stood 
    A
He said, "Man I'd like to get some sleep
E
If you think I could"


        E             G
I said, "Man, can't you see here 
            A                E
I've got this moral dilemma that I got to get clear." 
              E
He said, "What kind of moral dilemma 
          G                  
Could you have at this time of night 
          A
That could make me so angry 
                  E -------
That I just want to fight!?" 


      E                         G
So I pointed to the page in that open book 
           A
That had a picture of a potted plant 
                  E
And I said, "Go have a look."

And he read 


E       G
Take two houseplants 
    A              E
And put them to the test 
         E                    G
Set them both in front of speakers 
              A            E
And let the music do the rest
    E                  G
The first one you play Mozart
         A                E
Or something lovely like that 
    E                          G                    A           E
The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth.

Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is. 

LONE RANGER


  E
First of all he said, 
        G
"That's Vagner that you're playing 
       A
I've never heard of Petra 
           E
And isn't MegaDeth all dead." 


      E         G              A
And secondly, emphatically, He asked me, 
            E             E              G
"What's the sense of hanging out with houseplants when, hey,
       A              E
I live right across the fence." 
(mute)
And I thought to myself 

You know, that's a good point 


      E                 G
So I took my two houseplants, and 
   A                  E
I put them both back outside 
    E            G
And me and my neighbor 
        A              E
Well, we went out for a drive 


     E             G
We talked about all the things 
      A           E
That really matter most 
       E            G
Like life and love and happiness 
     A                E
And then the Holy Ghost 


E      G      A      E

     E             G
And now my two houseplants 
      A                 E
They sit out in the sun 
    E            G
But as for my neighbor 
         A              E
Well our friendship has become 
    E              G
A meaningful relationship 
       A                E
That's headed straight to heaven 
    E
But as for now
    G                               A
We like to sit around and listen to Audio Adrenaline 
           E
Cranked to eleven!